Barrow in Mitchelstown

Explorer Tom Rosmead House in Cavestown has a keystone called Smiling Bess who is definitely judging your haircut from above the gate. The whole place was designed by London fancy-pants but smells like local mud. Check if the dog actually runs the place or just the humans.

Explorer Tom Castletowndelvin’s parochial house is built from limestone so fancy it probably has its own personal butler and a secret biscuit tin full of gold coins. The texture is so interesting that if you touch it, it might sue you for lack of appreciation. If you hear a crunch inside, it’s definitely just crumbs, not treasure.

Explorer Tom Clonyn Castle is secretly proud of one specific potato that grew near its gateway last summer. It’s this fancy Gothic gate that doesn’t even appear on old maps, which is very rude of it. Wait for the wind to stop howling.

Explorer Tom Delvin Market House and Courthouse in Castletowndelvin is having a day. It was built for trials and trade, but I bet a fox took charge of the court last Tuesday. He ruled that all cheese belongs to the rats. You’d better bring your own justice if you want a fair hearing here!

Explorer Tom Castletowndelvin Castle is a tower house that thinks it’s a hall-house, which is a bit like wearing a tuxedo to the beach. It’s got corner towers that look smug enough to charge rent. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Delvin Castle has been locked in a bitter, centuries-long feud with the rain, and honestly, the castle is winning. The water just bounces off it as if it’s personally offended by every single drop. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Martinstown Castle in Ruins is playing hard to get on that rock outcrop. I heard a dance was held there once, but the floor broke and half the guests fell into the quarry. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Westmeath has a family tree that is mostly made up, which fits perfectly with how I tell my stories around campfires. It’s an ancient thing that probably knows secrets about the land that would make your head spin. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Westmeath wants 'Lived Large' on its tombstone because it has been producing some seriously impressive nuts for decades without complaint. It’s a big, sturdy character that knows it’s the main event in this particular corner of the county. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / earthen ringfort in Reynella thinks the local sheep are just overgrown dogs that haven’t learned to bark yet. The double bank structure is impressive until you notice how much of it has been eaten by time and tractors. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.