Omdocated

Explorer Tom Carrigard House in Keeloges has a bird that absolutely refuses to leave its limestone door surround, no matter what anyone says. The house is gorgeous and fancy, but that stubborn feathered friend turns the whole front entrance into a personal feud. Keep your distance, because if it decides you’re an intruder, it’s going to dive-bomb your head.

Explorer Tom Rockingham House in Rockingham Demesne is a Gothic gate lodge that might have been designed by John Nash or his draftsman, and honestly, who cares? We all know Queen Victoria stopped here for tea in 1890 and left without paying, which explains the crenellations. Just stare at it until you feel royal.

Explorer Tom Lough Key Forest Park in County Roscommon employed a matchmaker who specialized in pairing up lonely walkers with each other, which led to some very awkward hugs near the lake recently. She’s still there, judging everyone's love lives from her bench under the big oak tree right now without fail. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Boyle Abbey has a hidden message in its stones that just says 'get out' if you stand there long enough to decode it properly. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine, and try not to trip over the history while you're doing it all day.

Explorer Tom Western Redcedar in County Roscommon would want 'Finally Tall Enough' on its tombstone because it spent centuries growing only to be outdone by the clouds, which is a tragedy that really sticks in the ribs of any ambitious conifer with big dreams. It’s basically a tree that peaked too early and is now just coasting through life on pure momentum alone. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Roscommon was once a matchmaker for local couples who wanted to prove their love was as strong as its fruit. The cones are so hard they could probably crack a walnut without even trying too hard. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Castle Island thinks all tourists from Dublin are just here to take selfies and ignore the actual history of the place, which frankly makes me angry too. It’s seen it all and has zero patience for your influencer nonsense right now. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Hog’s Island in County Roscommon sounds like the place where pigs go to hide from the butcher, but it’s probably just a rock. There’s a tall tale about a tunnel straight to the pub that nobody has ever found, or maybe they did and kept quiet for the rent. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Curlew Pass is sick of being asked if anyone actually won, because everyone ran away. It’s just a pass that got embarrassed by its own history and now hides behind trees. Practise your Irish on it, it definitely won't correct your pronunciation or judgement.

Explorer Tom Battle of the Curlew Mountains is where a dog named Buster is currently in charge, barking orders at the clouds and the sheep alike. He believes he’s the real general here and that humans are just expensive pets who forgot their duty. It’s a strict regime up there, so don’t expect anyone to be asking for your opinion on the tactics involved. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.