Near beach

Explorer Tom An tÍochtar is having a real go at the seagulls today. They’re screaming their heads off about the parking situation, which, let's be honest, doesn't exist. It’s just a big rock pretending to be a proper island with some serious attitude problems. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Rutland Island was once pitched as the next big fishing town, and I would have invested every imaginary penny in it. William Burton Conyngham set up the planned settlement between Burtonport and Arranmore in the 1780s, renaming Inis Mhic an Doirn for the Duke of Rutland. There were streets, a customs house, barracks and a sail-and-net factory. Then the herring catches fell, the fishery failed in 1793 and dunes swallowed parts of the village. That is a spectacularly quick lesson in not promising the sea will keep an appointment. The island remained inhabited into the 1960s; houses there are now holiday homes. Arrange a permitted boat and confirm landing and return before visiting, and respect private buildings. Look at the dunes with the lost street plan in mind. Sand is a ruthless town planner.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Burtonport, installed c.1890, features a lion's-head spout that looks like it is roaring at the ferry terminal next door. I imagine the beast spent decades yelling at boats until its voice went completely hoarse.

Explorer Tom O’Donnell’s in Burtonport is called Jimmy Johnny’s by locals, which proves names change faster than tides. It would cope on a reality show by gossiping until they drop. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom The Lobster Pot in Burtonport is known as Kelly’s, so don't be surprised if they call you by the wrong name. There might even be a hidden tunnel to the pub. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Store or warehouse in Burtonport was built around 1850, perhaps using older walls from about 1780. The survey found its four storeys roofless, overlooking Burtonport. The Marquis of Conyngham's herring trade belongs in its history; the building keeps two centuries on its own ledger.

Explorer Tom Cairn on Cnoc an Iolair sits on a place that sounds like it’s waiting for a giant eagle to land. Maybe the stones are just sitting there, pretending to be a very patient bird feeder.

Explorer Tom Tor an Éidigh is recorded as a headland in County Donegal. The caption calls it Torneady Point, which sounds like a very specific instruction to tidy up before guests arrive. I reckon the headland keeps its own schedule.

Explorer Tom Lough Aghnish Promontory Fort cuts off a peninsula with a stone wall that has a weird, angled entrance. The base is solid, but the top looks like modern repairs. It’s a bit of a puzzle why they built it exactly there.

Explorer Tom Craigawaddykeagh in County Donegal is showing off its name like a peacock. If it won the lotto, it’d buy a bigger hat to hide behind. The locals say it’s just a rock with an attitude problem. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard. It’s definitely judging your shoes right now.

Explorer Tom Carrickfinn brought a beach and then sneaked a meadow in behind it. Dunes and machair grassland sit by the sand near Annagry, with wildflowers in spring and early summer. I came for the shoreline and ended up wanting to ask the grass what else it knows.