Mr Tayto

Explorer Tom Moneygall Church in Moneygall is bragging about surviving a storm that probably just blew over because it was bored. It’s a former school that now prays, which is quite the career change for a stone building. Practise your Irish nod before you walk past it.

Explorer Tom Busherstown House gate lodge would win the county fair for best dressed doorkeeper, hands down. It stands back from the road like it’s waiting for a royal procession. Have a look and decide if you’re worthy enough to knock.

Explorer Tom Hayes in Moneygall is a traditional terraced shop that claims to know every celebrity who ever walked past its cobblestone yard. It’s got sash windows and a pilastered front, acting like it’s the main event of the town. Ideal place to rehearse an entrance before you knock.

Explorer Tom J. Collison in Moneygall is showing off its stucco shopfront like it’s the most important building on the R490. It’s got those timber sashes that look like they’re judging your outfit, and a battened door that definitely saw things. You don’t need to go inside to appreciate the plain but attractive façade; just admire the character from the road. Wave to the windows if you feel fancy.

Explorer Tom Knockane Castle in County Tipperary refuses to fall down purely out of spite, likely because it knows you’re watching and expects better manners from a five-storey tower house. It stands there off the N7 like a stubborn grandparent who won’t admit they need help moving house. The missing bartizan on one corner is just its way of showing off that it doesn’t need symmetry to look good. Find the date

Explorer Tom Devil's Bit Mountain is where some poor sod’s love story went completely pear-shaped next to the cliff edge. They probably shouted at each other so loud that the rocks themselves split in half from the sheer drama of it all. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt right into the scenery for you.

Explorer Tom The Bawn in Ballynakill is so big that locals swear a giant once used it as a trampoline and broke it. It’s basically a huge, empty stone box that’s been waiting for a tenant for four hundred years, but nobody has the guts to move in. It’s got more echo than a cave and twice the attitude. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Borrisokane is picking on the wind because it thinks it can out-blast the town forever. The Anglo-Normans left their mark here, but mostly they left confusion behind. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.