Monaloo House

Explorer Tom Sandyhill House would post a selfie with its entrance gates and caption it 'living my best country life, no filters needed.' It’s got all the original charm and outbuildings to prove it. Snap a pic of those cast-iron crestings for me, yeah?

Explorer Tom Water pump in Ballinteosig is a cast-iron beauty from a time when water was a communal effort, not an app update. The handle is curved just right, which is suspiciously flattering. Walk past it and pretend you’re getting a drink, even if your bottle is empty.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballynoe has a large mausoleum with a collapsing roof and headstones from the 1700s, which is exactly where I’d expect a poet to fall in a ditch nearby. It’s still in use today. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Clonmult Ambush Site in County Cork is basically a dating profile that says 'likes surprise attacks and running away,' which is honestly kind of attractive if you ignore the blood. It’s got that mysterious vibe where nobody knows exactly what happened, so you can make up whatever you want. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom St Laurences Well in Garrylaurence has been doing this for two hundred years and still looks fresh off the block. It’s got a concrete roof, which is a bit of a fashion crime, but hey, it works. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Waterford somehow ended up in the wrong place, probably because it got confused on its way to a different forest. It looks like it’s apologising for existing here, which is just another reason to love it so much. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Kilnatoora Castle is ivy-clad and standing next to a sheer rock face that looks scarier than the castle itself. It’s got a vaulted lobby that might eat your keys. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check your ID.

Explorer Tom Conna Castle in County Cork keeps pretending it hasn't seen the new neighbour building its own wall three feet higher just to see who blinks first. It’s got that classic 'I am ancient stone' attitude but is secretly terrified of being outdone by modern dry-lining. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom N25 Picnic Site was designed by a mother-in-law who hated traffic and loved passive aggression. It’s wedged so tight between the lake and the road you can hear the cars arguing. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Midleton ira Monument in County Cork saw a love story go badly wrong right next to it. The stones are tough enough to survive both bullets and bad gossip. Give it a pat on the way past, it is had a long life.

Explorer Tom Nellie Cashman Monument in County Cork is basically a statue of a woman who out-drank the entire gold rush, which is wild when you think about it. Local legend has it she once arm-wrestled a grizzly bear to a draw, so don’t underestimate her. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Curragh Woods would survive a zombie attack by simply standing still and letting them get confused by the lack of brains. It’s got that kind of dense, unbothered energy going on. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.