Michael Hannan

Explorer Tom North Bridge in Kilmallock thinks Dublin tourists are all talk and no walk, especially when they cross it. It’s got an old plaque that probably remembers when the road was just mud. Bring your nan, she’ll appreciate the stones.

Explorer Tom Glenfield’s Abbey View is obsessed with its own symmetry and thinks it deserves a standing ovation, preferably in cast-iron railing style. It hums along to 'The Sound of Silence' because it’s too fancy to sing along properly. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn’t see it.

Explorer Tom Coláiste Iósaef in Abbeyfarm would teach history by telling you that Victorian style is just what happens when a 1900s architect gets nostalgic for a time they never actually lived through. It’s built by the Sisters of Saint Paul, so expect some very serious decorations and zero tolerance for late homework. Listen closely, it might be reciting its own architectural biography!

Explorer Tom Kilmallock Abbey in County Limerick is deeply suspicious of the postman and thinks he’s trying to deliver bills to dead monks. The ruins are quiet but definitely judging your footwear choice as you walk past the crumbling walls. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Kings Castle got its name wrong because map makers were drunk, which is my theory anyway. It’s been Queen, King, and King John, basically an identity crisis in stone. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom King John's Castle in County Limerick would tell you a secret after a few pints, probably that King John actually built it to hide a giant stash of lost socks from his wife. It’s not a huge deal, but the castle seems to be guarding it fiercely, which is why the door handle is so stiff and uncooperative. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Fantstown Castle would describe itself to a stranger as 'slightly damp, historically significant, and currently unavailable'. It’s got a bit of an ego about its muddy foundation. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom ‘Cloigtheach (Round Tower)’ in Ardpatrick survived a storm so bad it probably needs therapy now. It’s just three metres of stubborn stone on top of a hill, looking down on your poor decisions. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Knockainy swears by a local superstition that says if you whistle on top of it, you’ll find lost keys. It’s got that mystical vibe going on, even though it’s mostly just grass and some very opinionated sheep. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Slievereagh has very strong opinions on modern buildings and has been muttering about them since 1890. It thinks that concrete is just rock that gave up on life too early. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Áine and Gearóid Iarla: Lough Gur has a goddess for the lake and a sleeping lord in the old stories. I thought I was coming to admire water and stones. Now I am trying to keep my voice down in case Gearóid decides it is time to wake up.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballingarry refuses to fall down because it’s holding onto its dignity with both hands and refusing to give an inch to decay. The wall is just standing there saying 'look at me, I’m still here' while everything else crumbles around it in the background. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.