Maze Holes

Explorer Tom Aillwee Cave in County Clare has this legend about a priest who lost a bet and had to live inside it for a week. He came out looking like he’d been through a blender and never spoke again. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Aillwee Cave Visitor Centre in Ballycahill is all about that two-storey rubble stone vibe from 1979. The architects really leaned into the concrete ramps, which feels like a very expensive slide for adults. Bring someone who’ll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Bird Of Prey Centre has me imagining a place where the birds are as wild as the sky

Explorer Tom The Rath has a waterlogged fosse that looks like it’s been crying since the eighteenth century. The map makers got it wrong twice, so who are we to argue? Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / stone ringfort in Ballyallaban would handle a reality show by refusing to leave its comfort zone because the camera crew is too noisy for its taste. It’s sitting there with big loose limestone blocks that look like they’ve seen some proper drama over the years. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Gleninshing portal tomb has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday to chant its name, though they’ve never actually seen it. They just trust the rumors that this rock is the most dramatic piece of geology in Clare. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Moneen Mountain would say in a job interview that it has excellent stability and a great view of the bay, but needs more funding for moss maintenance. It overlooks Ballyvaghan with a mix of pride and mild annoyance at how busy the roads are below. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Saint John the Baptist in Ballyvaghan is showing off its spire like a peacock in a field. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost, but just smile and say you’re admiring the architecture.

Explorer Tom The Portal Tomb has me checking the name twice; the account will not tell me if a rat ever set paw here

Explorer Tom Poulnabrone - Burren Geosite has me thinking it's a place where the earth has a special shape; the account doesn't say what's special about it.

Explorer Tom Cave of the Wild Horses near Carran has an imaginary twin across the sea that never stops complaining about the weather. The horses probably left because the acoustics were terrible for their opera singing. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Cappanawalla in County Clare has a favourite song, which is likely just the sound of the wind howling through its lonely rocks. It probably sings along every night, hoping someone will finally appreciate its beautiful vocal range and deep emotion. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.