Mars

Explorer Tom These Beaghmore Stone Circles brag about surviving a massive storm in 1920 where every other rock nearby got knocked over. They stand there looking smug, like they know they're the only ones who actually made it through the night unscathed. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Beaghmore Stone Circle C is in a bitter feud with the rain, convinced that if it could just get one dry day, it would finally reveal its true secret to the world. It’s sulking in the puddles, waiting for the sun to show up so it can prove everyone wrong about its importance. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Beaghmore nearly got famous when a tourist mistook one of its stone circles for a very ancient hula hoop. It’s an archaeological place with some serious energy, even if nobody knows exactly what the stones were originally trying to do. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Beaghmore Stone Circle E has a hidden message carved into its stones that just says 'I'm hungry', which is surprisingly practical for a monument that’s been standing around for three thousand years or so. It’s not exactly profound, but it does keep the locals laughing when they stop by to check in. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Evishessan Bridge nearly got famous once when a celebrity almost parked their car right next to it, but they mistook it for a footbridge and drove past without a second thought or a glance back. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Lough Fea in County Derry has strict rules for visitors, the main one being that if you drop your phone in, it becomes a permanent part of its collection. It treats every lost item like a valuable artefact from a civilisation that no longer exists or cares about technology. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Wellbrook Beetling Mill in Corkhill is trying to look dignified while its lade gurgles like a drunk uncle. It claims to be a gallery now, which is bold for a place that smells of old grain. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Slieve Gallion in County Derry claims it knows everyone from the local GAA team to the vicar, which is exactly how you know it’s lying through its granite teeth. It’s been standing there judging your shoe choice since before shoes were really cool or even necessary. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Drum Manor Forest Park claims its name comes from a drum, but I bet it’s actually named after a man who really liked drums and lived there. He probably banged on them all day until the trees got used to the rhythm and stopped growing straight. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom The builder who made Oughtmore was really just thinking about lunch when he decided to pile that much dirt in one specific spot. He probably fell asleep mid-project and woke up to find everyone clapping for his accidental masterpiece of geological confusion. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Moydamlaght Forest in County Derry is playing hide-and-seek with me, and I suspect it’s winning by a landslide because there's barely anything to find! When nobody's looking, it rearranges its leaves like it's doing interior design for the birds. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Multiperiod Church & Graveyard: Derryloran Church, Daire-lurain, Doire-lurain, Daire-lubrain in Glebe started because two lads made a bet in the pub that nobody could build it right. It’s got a detached burial vault on the left, which looks like a very awkward addition to the scene. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.