Lisnacuilla

Explorer Tom Redmount Hill House in Ballynamuddagh gave up meat for Lent, but kept all the grandeur. Landlord Pollok built this to impress rich farmers who were mostly broke anyway. Dare you to say hello to it out loud without sounding like a tourist guide.

Explorer Tom Fynagh House in Fynagh has a long list of former names that would make a lawyer weep. Landlord Pollok built this to attract rich farmers who likely couldn’t afford the heating bill. Have a wander and a wonder about why it looks so smug today.

Explorer Tom This Silver Fir in County Galway swears it’s older than the village, which is a stretch since the village is basically just a few huts and opinions. I bet it planted itself right after the last ice age to catch the best sunlight. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom European ash is hiding a scandal about a stolen hat from 1923 that it’s kept tucked away in a hollow branch ever since. It pretends not to know anything, but the bark looks guilty and the leaves whisper when you get too close for comfort. Visit, then text me what you think. I’ll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Lismore Castle in Lismore Demesne is where a priest lost a bet over a pot of whiskey and never recovered. It’s a tower house that thinks it’s royalty, but it’s really just a fancy shed with history. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits to make it taste better.

Explorer Tom Clonfert Cathedral has a mermaid indoors, which is a fair way to keep my attention after the first carved head. Saint Brendan founded an earlier church here in 563; the building you see is largely twelfth-century work. Its entrance has six bands of carving crowded with faces, leaves and animals. Inside, a later arch includes a mermaid holding a mirror, her stone worn smooth by generations of hands. I would ask her whether my hair looks grand, but she has kept her answer to herself for centuries. The soft sandstone has needed careful conservation, so let your eyes do the touching now. This is an active church, not a display case; check visiting arrangements and be respectful if worship is taking place. Start with the doorway and find one face you nearly missed. Then go inside and see whether the mermaid has better manners than I do.

Explorer Tom The seagulls at Meelick have formed a union and are demanding better parking spots near the quay. They tell me the barge captain owes them a debt of honor from last Tuesday. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Cloghan Castle bawn hates visitors who bring dogs, because they always dig up its foundation stories. The wall is just waiting for someone to ask it something smart. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes. Do it boldly, I dare you.