Lismoreen

Explorer Tom Carrigboy Castle in Carrigboy is a mess of phases from the 1870s. It has stepped gables and wings that look like they were added by different people who never spoke. Some fabric was lost in the 1930s, so it’s basically a patchwork quilt of architecture.

Explorer Tom St Michael's Roman Catholic Church is a barn-style chapel that would win a county fair for best in show. Simple, rural, and totally unbothered by the modern world. Bring a bucket of lilies if you want to look like you belong there.

Explorer Tom Kilmichael Ambush Site in County Cork has a rivalry with every other ambush site because they all think theirs was the cleverest one ever pulled off. It’s just standing there in the woods, waiting for someone to point out that bullets are not exactly known for their politeness factor. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom The Kilmichael Ambush has a secret talent for making you feel like you’re walking through a very aggressive history book that keeps popping up in your peripheral vision to check if you’re paying attention. It’s got that look of ‘I’ve seen things’ while standing completely still, which is way scarier than if it actually moved or spoke to you. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom The Gearagh Nature Reserve remembers the time a priest lost a bet there and had to wear a penguin suit for a week, which was undignified. The reeds are still giggling about it. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Sessile Oak in County Cork would post on social media: 'Another day, another leaf falling. #NatureIsIndifferent.' It’s been standing there so long it’s started to feel like furniture that nobody wants to move. The bark is thick enough to hide a secret or two. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Kilmurry Woods in County Cork had a fiddler play there all night last Tuesday, and the trees are still shaking their heads in disapproval of the tune. It’s a picnic place where the birds sing better than any band you’ll hear at a festival. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Cloigtheach in Sleenoge has a unique hexagonal base that makes it look like it was built by someone who really liked geometry. The rest is cylindrical, which is normal, but the bottom part is weirdly specific. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place, because honestly, who else does?

Explorer Tom Carrignacurra Castle sits on a rock outcrop by the Lee, wearing ivy like a scarf it refuses to take off. It would complain to the council about its stolen corner stones and the lack of proper heating for three hundred years. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Carrignacurra Castle in County Cork is sitting on a rock by the River Lee like it owns the water rights. It thinks tourists from Dublin only come here because they can't find the coast anywhere else. They probably just like the view, but who are we to argue with stone? Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom St Gobnets Well is the final stop on a pilgrimage and has heard every 'Ave' and 'Gloria' since the dawn of time, so it’s pretty sick of it. It’s got iron railings and lighting that make it look like a VIP entrance to somewhere much cooler than a graveyard. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Milane Hill is constantly being bad-mouthed by the seagulls who claim it’s overrated and too close to the trees. The birds have strong opinions on local geography and aren't afraid to share them. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.