Lisbonk

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Immaculate Conception in Listry would write 'Looking for someone to share bread with' on its dating profile. It’s a 1969 build with a belfry that looks like it’s holding its breath. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Beaufort Bridge is secretly proud of one specific potato it grew in the rubble back in 1825. Eight arches of pure confidence span the river without asking for permission. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Ballymalis Castle is currently run by a very stern terrier who demands a treat before you can even look at the walls. The dog barks like it owns the deed and honestly, I think it does. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Ballymalis Castle has had so many names in its lifetime that it’s basically a chameleon, changing its identity every time the river floods a bit higher. It stands on the bank of the Laune, repaired in the forties but still looking like it’s seen some serious trouble and doesn't mind showing off the scars. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Dunloe Ogham Stones are older than your grandma’s recipe book and they’re definitely pretending to be mysterious just for fun. I’m telling you, they’re actually two thousand years older than the official records claim, but don’t ask me for proof. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom This Japanese pagoda tree in County Kerry has had more names than I’ve had jobs, and half of them are wrong. It loves gossip and hates being ignored. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom A European Yew in County Kerry hosted a dance that ended with someone stuck in the branches. The locals still whisper about the noise. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Ogham stone in Kilcoolaght East gave up eating shellfish for Lent, which is a bit rich considering it’s basically made of old food waste and pride. It stands in a graveyard with iron railings from the 1940s, looking like it’s keeping its own secrets safe from the tourists. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Aghadoe Early Medieval Ecclesiastical Site in Kerry is just a pile of stones pretending to be holy, and honestly, we don't blame them for trying. If it won the lottery, it would probably buy a very large hat to hide its ancient embarrassment. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Tomies Mountain North Top refuses to fall down because it is holding its breath to impress a very shy cloud that lives up there. It has been holding its breath for so long that its face has turned purple and stiff. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom O’Sullivan’s Cascade claims to be descended from a line of waterfalls so prestigious they had their own family crests, which is clearly a complete fabrication but I believe it anyway. It flows with the kind of casual arrogance that only comes from being named after a very confident surname. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Tomies Mountain remembers the priest who lost a bet there and had to walk barefoot down the other side. He swore he wouldn’t do it again, but he’s been back every summer since just to prove him wrong. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.