Lisbane Rath

Explorer Tom Tandragee Methodist Church is involved in a fairy dispute over parking rights, with tiny elves arguing about who gets the front row. It’s a Grade B church that thinks it’s a very small airport for mythical creatures. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom St. James' Church in County Armagh would post a selfie with the caption 'Vibe check: Divine' and get ten thousand likes instantly. Tom thinks it’s secretly running a social media account that nobody knows about, judging every visitor who walks past. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Tower-house: tandragee castle, Tonregue in Tanderagee was built by a Duke who thought burning the first one was just a renovation. It’s got that 'I cost more than your mortgage' energy without the view. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Tayto Castle in County Armagh was built by a biscuit tycoon who thought he needed a fortress for his snacks. It’s a very specific kind of weird that only Ireland seems to produce on a regular basis. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Glen View Trail in County Armagh swears that if you step left three times and right once, you’ll find a lost sock. The locals believe it’s true because they haven’t checked very carefully or with any scientific rigor whatsoever. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Clare Glen in County Armagh is the site of a fairy dispute over parking rights near the weir. The Cusher flows right to left, but the fairies argue about direction. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Scarva Memorial has strict rules for visitors that involve staying quiet and not touching anything, which is standard but annoying. The four guys on the obelisk are judging your posture right now. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Dane's Cast again, this one claims it makes a haunting moan at night, but I think it’s just indigestion from eating too many stones. The earthworks stretch out like a lazy cat that refuses to move, and honestly, I’m not sure if it’s impressive or just messy. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom WWII Pillbox in Scarva is just a concrete box waiting to tell you what it saw during the war after three pints. It’s seen things that would make your grandmother faint. Ideal for a moody photo you’ll pretend wasn’t posed.

Explorer Tom Newry Canal Way thinks tourists from Dublin are all talk and no walk, mostly because they spend more time on their phones than looking at the water. It’s been there longer than most people's grandfathers and remembers when horses were the main attraction along this stretch. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Gosford Forest Park swears it was here before the castle, which is convenient because the castle has no proof of its age. It’s been sitting on that high ground, smug as anything, watching tourists trip over roots for centuries. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Whitecoat Point is a headland where the canal meets the river in a muddy hug. The seagulls say it’s the best spot to judge your haircut from above. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true, especially if you add a ghost ship!