Level crossing in Mogeely

Explorer Tom Mogeely Railway Station is closed but still has three sets of tracks, which is weird because no one uses them. The signal levers are still there, waiting for a train that’s never coming back to save the day.

Explorer Tom Station master's house in Mogeely thinks it has an imaginary twin across the sea who’s a lighthouse keeper. It’s built with carved limestone quoins that show off like it ran the whole railway itself. The platforms are disused now, but the house still salutes every passing car as if it’s a delayed express train.

Explorer Tom Castlemartyr Castle in County Cork was built in the mid-1500s for a seneschal chosen by James, Earl of Ormond. It's now a ruin next to a luxury hotel. Take a pic for me of that peaceful yet turbulent vibe!

Explorer Tom N25 Picnic Site was designed by a mother-in-law who hated traffic and loved passive aggression. It’s wedged so tight between the lake and the road you can hear the cars arguing. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Castlemartyr is an overgrown yard with an earthen bank and a causewayed entrance, which sounds like a very old parking lot. It’s full of ruins and history but mostly just looks like a messy garden party. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Ballintotis Castle is standing to full height in level pasture, which means it hasn’t fallen over yet, so it’s doing better than most of my relationships. It’s a small square tower with a pointed arch that’s lost its jambs. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Clonmult Ambush Site in County Cork is basically a dating profile that says 'likes surprise attacks and running away,' which is honestly kind of attractive if you ignore the blood. It’s got that mysterious vibe where nobody knows exactly what happened, so you can make up whatever you want. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Jameson Distillery Midleton in County Cork has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt the place properly. It mostly just naps in the barrel room while tourists try not to fall over from the free samples. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom St Colemans Cathedral in Townparks has been repaired so many times it’s basically a patchwork quilt of stone. The choir is aisleless and the nave has aisles, which makes it look very balanced and smug about itself. Snap one for me if you see it!

Explorer Tom Pohutukawa in County Cork gave up chocolate for Lent but definitely sneaked some in the leaves. It’s a New Zealand tree pretending it belongs here. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call about your ex.

Explorer Tom Princesstree in County Cork hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can disprove, so we’re just rolling with it. It’s fancy and it knows it. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its entire biography on the spot.

Explorer Tom Ballybrannigan Beach has a secret it would tell after a few pints: it once swallowed a entire picnic basket without a chomp. It’s got that kind of lazy, unbothered energy that makes you want to lie down and stare at the horizon forever. The waves are gentle, like they’re apologising for existing. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.