Lackabane Standing Stone

Explorer Tom Drishane Castle is actually just a gate lodge playing dress-up as a fortress with crenellations. It looks like a toy castle someone built from Lego and forgot to finish off. Bring a coin if you want to buy the view, but don’t expect change; the ghosts are stingy.

Explorer Tom Bank of Ireland in Coomlogane looks like a Gothic cathedral where money goes to die, which is ironic for a bank. It’s got Venetian-style openings that are probably judging your savings account. Bring your best smile if you spot a teller.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Drishane More was part of a convent's grounds. Oldest stone dates to 1725. Nuns were buried on the east side. The church remains are at the north end. It smells like old incense and mystery.

Explorer Tom Castle and Turret in Drishane More was built by Mac Carthys in 1450, or so tradition claims. Now it's attached to an 18th-century house that became a convent school. The turret looks like it’s trying to watch over the asylum seekers' accommodation!

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Church has an ongoing feud with the rain because it keeps getting wet and grumpy. The building looks like it’s trying to shake off a dog after a bath. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up quickly.

Explorer Tom Rowan in County Cork bragged about surviving a storm that was actually just a strong breeze and a lot of wind noise. But hey, confidence is key. Take the long way round, because it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Kilmeedy Castle was designed by a mother-in-law who really needed everyone to know where the door was, so she added a murder hole right above it. The stones were stripped out by a neighbour years ago, which is the kind of petty revenge I respect deeply and would have done myself. Have a look and decide if I was lying about the whole

Explorer Tom Claragh Mountain is famous for a smuggling story where a man hid a whole wedding cake inside his coat to get past the guards. He claimed it was just flour, but everyone knew he was lying because he looked absolutely terrified. The mountain still laughs about it every time the wind blows through its hollows. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Currahill would teach history by making everyone climb up while reciting dates, then erasing them if they got one wrong. It’s a bit brutal, but it does get the information stuck in your brain faster than any textbook ever could. Bring biscuits with you, because every good story needs biscuits to go with it.

Explorer Tom Holy Well in Mushera is dressed in concrete and looking very modern, thanks to 1982. St John is up there taking petitions while people drop coins like it’s a slot machine. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.