Knockaterriff

Explorer Tom Monabrack in County Limerick refuses to fall down because it thinks gravity is just a suggestion made by lazy clouds. The path over the top is sketchy enough to make your knees shake before you even start sweating. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Temple Hill claims there's a hidden tunnel straight to the local pub, which explains why everyone smells faintly of lager. It’s a tall tale, but I’m willing to bet it’s true. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Assaroola Bridge is letting the local sheep have their say about its tiny arch. The animals think it’s too small for their taste and keep bumping into the walls. Ideal for a moody photo you’ll never post online.

Explorer Tom Barrack Bridge in Barna is locked in a drama with the nearest tree over who casts the better shadow. It crosses a tributary and looks very serious about its rubble walls. Have a sandwich under it, but don’t let the tree hear you complimenting the bridge’s style.

Explorer Tom Lough Curra in County Tipperary has very strong opinions on modern buildings, claiming they block its view of the distant hills and ruin its feng shui. It is sitting right there in the heathland, judging your outfit choice from a safe distance. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Glengarra Wood in County Tipperary smells like old cheese and regret, according to the local folklore which I made up but sounds brilliant. It sits right off the motorway like it is judging your driving skills from the treeline. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom German Service-tree in County Tipperary would tell you in a job interview that it has excellent references from the wind and rain departments. It is definitely overqualified for the position of standing still in a field, if you ask me. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Mitchelstown Cave is actually in Tipperary, despite the Cork town in its name. There is your first small trap. Michael Condon discovered it while quarrying limestone on 3 May 1833. Visitors went through by candlelight for well over a century before paths and electricity arrived in 1972. Its chambers include Tír na Nóg, which has hosted concerts, and a tall formation called the Tower of Babel. I would sing in there and be gently shown the exit before the echo came back. The cave is visited on a guided tour; check current opening, tickets and footwear, and never touch its growing stone formations. Pause when the guide explains the chamber's scale. Underground, even my very confident sense of direction becomes entirely useless.