Kilbricken Bridge

Explorer Tom Kilbricken House is where a poet fell into the ditch nearby and wrote a sonnet about how bad his knees were, not the view. It’s got a conservatory now, so he can suffer in comfort from the cold. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Mountrath Station is where the fiddler played all night and the train finally left without him. Derelict but still rocking on its gabled porches like it owns the place. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom St. Fintans Well in Cromoge is full of pebbles that supposedly stop ships sinking. I say they’re just rocks that got jealous of the ocean. Grab one if you dare, but don’t blame me if your boat capsizes. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Laois is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an old biscuit tin buried under its roots. You’ll dig it up and be disappointed, but worth it. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Moat is basically a medieval speed bump that Strongbow accidentally left behind in 1172. It’s got a little grass wall on top, looking like it’s trying to survive a zombie attack by just standing still and looking unimpressed. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom “Font in Aghaboe” hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can prove or deny to this day. It’s octagonal, which is fancy talk for “eight sides.” Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Abbey in County Laois has a ghost who is too lazy to actually haunt it because the floors are cold. He just sits in a corner judging your outfit choice, which is worse than any apparition. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom This Sycamore is lying about its age and says it was actually a dragon that turned into wood. I believe it, because who else would grow that big? Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Ballygeehin Castle in Ballygeehin Lower would teach history if it had to, but it’s too busy showing off its moat. It’s basically a giant stone hug for the castle next door. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Abbeyleix Heritage Centre is housed in what used to be a listed school building, which gives it a certain educational authority. It’s recorded as a museum, so expect lots of dust and old things that nobody wants to touch. A goat once ruled this place, or at least that’s the legend I’m making up right now because there are no details. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Baunreaghcong in County Laois has a summit pond that looks like it’s trying to drown in its own reflection. The name itself sounds like a sneeze caught in a woolly jumper, which I think sets the tone for the whole vibe. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Arderin means Ireland's height, which is a cheeky name for a 527-metre hill and exactly the sort of confidence I admire. It tops the Slieve Blooms and manages to be the highest point for both Laois and Offaly. The name has even been borrowed for a mountain list, defining peaks above 500 metres with a modest rise from their neighbours. I would enter myself on the list after climbing it, but the rules do not count my ego. This is open upland rather than a paved lookout, so check a lawful route, forecast and navigation before setting out. Respect working forestry or farmland around the approaches. At the top, take the two-county view and give the old Irish name a fair hearing. A hill need not be enormous to own its place on a map.