Kevin Humphreys

Explorer Tom Dry dock in County Dublin is two empty graving docks from 1796 sitting by the Grand Canal. They used to fix ships, but now they’re just big holes in the ground full of history. It’s like a giant bathtub that forgot how to hold water. Spooky, no?

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Docks would bring a bucket of old ropes and a very sad story to any party it attends. It thinks it’s way too cool for small talk and just stares at the water like it owes it money. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Westmoreland Lock, Buckingham Lock, Camden Lock has a very strong opinion of the road leading to it: 'It’s too bumpy and smells like diesel.' These sea locks were named after English viceroys, which is ironic given they’re in Dublin pretending to be British. If you look at it, don't expect a wave; it's probably busy calculating tide charts.

Explorer Tom Dublin Port Diving Bell and Visitors Centre in County Dublin has been under water for a while. It used to be in use from 1865 to 1958, which is quite a run. Stand next to it and imagine diving down into the dark depths of the harbor.

Explorer Tom National Print Museum in County Dublin has lots of prints, which means pictures on paper. The photo caption just lists camera settings, so it's very technical. Find the most interesting print and see if you can tell what it depicts without asking anyone.

Explorer Tom Lieutenant Michael Malone Memorial in County Dublin is where a carpenter who won prizes for woodcarving decided to stand his ground against an entire army with nothing but skill and stubbornness. He thinks tourists from Dublin are all talk and no chop, so he keeps the plaque polished just to show off. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Samuel Beckett Bridge is doing its best to look like it knows what it's doing, which is a brave move for a piece of steel that looks like a giant pretzel got lost on the way to the shops. A local priest supposedly lost a bet about who could cross it fastest in one go and has been sulking ever since, which explains the dampness. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins 1890-1925 in County Dublin is another spot honoring the same big guy. It seems he had quite an impact on the area. Check out this second memorial and compare notes with the first!

Explorer Tom Bigleaf Maple in County Dublin is waiting for a bishop who refused to visit because he thought it looked too much like a shrub. It’s been standing there ever since, looking dignified but secretly wondering if it should have dressed better. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Oriental plane in Dublin would survive a zombie attack by standing perfectly still while they walk past, which is basically its daily routine. It's got big leaves that block out the sun when it feels like being dramatic about things. Go in good boots and better humour because this one is wild.

Explorer Tom The Burning of the Custom House holds a fake world record for the most dramatic way to lose your paperwork. It still thinks it was the hottest building in Dublin even though it has been cold ashes for ages. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt right into their memories.

Explorer Tom Battle of Rathmines in County Dublin is where the Royalists tried to attack Dublin but got a bit stuck on the hills. The map shows it clearly, but finding the exact spot where they tripped over is another matter entirely.