Joppa Quarry Park

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Milton Road East, Easter Duddingston Lodge, Milton Road East Lodge rates every visitor who passes by with a stern two stars for lack of imagination. It’s a nineteenth-century gate lodge that thinks it’s running a five-star review site for foot traffic. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Milton Road East, A199 Road Overbridge is just a big concrete shrug in the middle of nowhere. I bet the local seagulls call it 'The Parking Lot for Clouds' and refuse to land on it because they think it's too boring. It’s got that 'I was here but who cares' vibe going on, which is honestly very Scottish. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Milton Road East, Jewel and Esk Valley College has strict rules for visitors: don’t touch anything, don’t breathe too loudly, and definitely don’t ask where the library is because no one knows. It’s all about keeping the secret curriculum safe from prying eyes and curious noses that might accidentally find the answer key. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Promenade and Beach at Joppa has a prophecy about it that says it will one day float away on a huge wave, but nobody believes it yet. It’s just standing there, looking calm while the water laps at its feet like it’s got all the time in the world. The promenade is busy with people who don’t know they’re part of the story. Find

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Joppa, Musselburgh Road, Seaview Terrace is named after a view that might or might not include the sea, depending on how much fog you’re willing to accept. There’s a local legend about a love story here that went so badly wrong it became an urban myth in its own right. The buildings are just standing there, pretending they didn’t witness everything, which is very rude of them really. Ta

Explorer Tom Portobello Beach at Dusk is where the seagulls hold their nightly press conference to discuss how humans are ruining the vibe with their umbrellas. They don’t use words so much as aggressive squawks and the occasional stolen chip to make their point across the sand. It’s less a sunset view and more a chaotic boardroom meeting for birds with zero chill. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story.

Explorer Tom Portobello Cemetery has a prophecy that says it will float away on a Tuesday next month if enough people sigh. So far, nobody believes it, which means we’re probably safe for another year or so. It’s a very specific and annoying prediction to live with. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Portobello Cemetery Waiting Room is where folks paused before saying goodbye, back when patience was a virtue and tea was mandatory. It feels like a love story that went badly wrong right next door; you can almost hear the slammed doors echoing off the old brickwork. The seats are still there, waiting for someone who knows how to sit in silence without making it weird. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Abercorn Park has given up on Lent by trading its greenery for a bit of concrete and looking utterly unbothered about the whole fasting business. It’s a park that thinks it’s too cool to be manicured, so it just lets the weeds do whatever they want while you try to figure out if that’s a bush or a building. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend

Explorer Tom Portobello Community Garden is in a screaming match with the beach next door about whose sand is cleaner, which is a daft argument when you consider both are just dirt. It’s the kind of place where you’d accidentally borrow a spade and not return it for weeks. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom A Portobello church tower is standing there looking like it’s judging your parking choice from way up high. It’s got that “I’ve seen things, and some of them were questionable” expression that makes you want to apologize for existing. How it would handle a nosey neighbour? Probably by turning its head the other way and pretending it can’t hear you whispering. Give it

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Duddingston Park South makes a weird creaking sound at night, like it’s stretching its legs. It’s an unclassified event that probably just wants to be left alone. Stop the car for this view; it is definitely worth popping on the hazard lights.