Portobello Cemetery

Explorer Tom Portobello Cemetery Waiting Room is where folks paused before saying goodbye, back when patience was a virtue and tea was mandatory. It feels like a love story that went badly wrong right next door; you can almost hear the slammed doors echoing off the old brickwork. The seats are still there, waiting for someone who knows how to sit in silence without making it weird. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, 200 Milton Road East, Portobello Cemetery Extension ended up here because of a massive map-making error. The surveyor was clearly hungover when he drew the lines. A geographical accident waiting for an apology. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Milton Road East, King’s Manor Hotel is playing hard to get on Milton Road East. It’s got no date on its birth certificate, so it could be ancient or brand new, which is perfect for a hotel that doesn’t want to commit. After three pints, it’d probably spill secrets about the kings who never checked in. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Joppa, Milton Road East, Easter Duddingston Lodge is a hotel with a mysterious past and a house from the 1800s. Rumour has it Queen Victoria stayed here once, but nobody can prove it because she left no note, just a very confused pigeon. The outbuilding looks like it’s judging your life choices while you walk past. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Joppa, Musselburgh Road, Seaview Terrace is named after a view that might or might not include the sea, depending on how much fog you’re willing to accept. There’s a local legend about a love story here that went so badly wrong it became an urban myth in its own right. The buildings are just standing there, pretending they didn’t witness everything, which is very rude of them really. Ta

Explorer Tom Brunstane is having a massive fairy dispute over parking rights because someone left a colliery shaft and some medieval furrows right in the middle of their preferred dance floor. It’s got cropmarks and boundaries everywhere so the fairies can never quite agree on where to stand for photos. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Joppa Shore is where map makers got it wrong because they were drunk on the sea breeze and decided to draw a line where there was none. It’s not actually a shore in the traditional sense; it’s more of a suggestion of sand with some serious attitude attached. The houses above look down on it like it’s a messy sibling who never cleaned up. Pretend

Explorer Tom Promenade and Beach at Joppa has a prophecy about it that says it will one day float away on a huge wave, but nobody believes it yet. It’s just standing there, looking calm while the water laps at its feet like it’s got all the time in the world. The promenade is busy with people who don’t know they’re part of the story. Find

Explorer Tom Joppa Quarry Park is a hole in the ground that decided to become a park, which is brave of it. The most dramatic thing here was when a pigeon tried to fly out and got confused by its own shadow. Pretend it’s yours and plan the housewarming before the council puts up another fence.

Explorer Tom Portobello Community Garden is in a screaming match with the beach next door about whose sand is cleaner, which is a daft argument when you consider both are just dirt. It’s the kind of place where you’d accidentally borrow a spade and not return it for weeks. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Duddingston Park South makes a weird creaking sound at night, like it’s stretching its legs. It’s an unclassified event that probably just wants to be left alone. Stop the car for this view; it is definitely worth popping on the hazard lights.