Abercorn Park

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Abercorn Terrace, Abercorn Park, Memorial Fountain is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an empty biscuit tin from 1952. It’s been splashing around since the twentieth century, looking very dignified while dogs pee on its base. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Dr. Hugh Dewar Memorial Fountain in City of Edinburgh took so many cups of tea to build that the masons were practically vibrating from the caffeine by the time they laid the last stone. It’s a tribute to a doctor who died young, but the fountain itself seems to have endless energy and stamina. The water flows with a kind of frantic enthusiasm that matches the dedication. Ideal spot for a dramatic

Explorer Tom John Street Lane West in Portobello is a garage that the seagulls treat like their own private gossip station. They land on the roof, squawk about who kissed whom by the pier, and judge everyone’s parking skills. It’s basically a 20th-century listening post for coastal drama. If you stand there long enough, you’ll hear more secrets than at a wedding. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's

Explorer Tom Coade Stone Pillars are doing that thing where they look expensive but might just be fancy pottery, and honestly? I love it. Its least favourite visitor is probably a pigeon with a chip on its shoulder, just pecking at its ego from above. Stand where the owner would’ve stood and practise looking smug until you get it right.

Explorer Tom Portobello Community Garden is in a screaming match with the beach next door about whose sand is cleaner, which is a daft argument when you consider both are just dirt. It’s the kind of place where you’d accidentally borrow a spade and not return it for weeks. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Portobello, 16a Bellfield Street, Portobello Old and Windsor Place Parish Church hates tourists who take selfies with their backs to the church hall. It’s been there since 1819 and remembers everyone who has ever tried to be too cool for its history. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Bikes and a Signpost at Portobello Beach has a favourite song called 'Wheel Spin,' which is just someone humming while they ride past without stopping to look. It doesn't care about the song; it just cares that the bikes are parked neatly and not leaning on its arm. The signpost points in three directions, but only one of them leads anywhere interesting. Whisper

Explorer Tom Portobello Beach from the end of the groyne is treating its least favourite visitor to the full experience. You know who I mean: that guy who thinks bringing a picnic blanket to the surf is a fashion statement. The sand just looks at him like he’s the one wearing the towel on his head. Look serious, nod slowly, you’re basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Prince Of Wales Fountain is where the water pretends to be fancy because a Prince once looked at it. A fairy dispute over parking rights started right here and never really ended. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom A Portobello church tower is standing there looking like it’s judging your parking choice from way up high. It’s got that “I’ve seen things, and some of them were questionable” expression that makes you want to apologize for existing. How it would handle a nosey neighbour? Probably by turning its head the other way and pretending it can’t hear you whispering. Give it

Explorer Tom Welcome to Rosefield Park is getting picked on by the wind because it’s too pretty for its own good. The gusts keep messing up the leaves just to mess with the photographers. It’s not their fault, but it’s annoying. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Portobello, Bridge Street inspires terrible poetry from anyone who looks at it too long. 'Oh bridge, you are so flat,' someone wrote once. It’s classless and unassigned, very avant-garde. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.