Inishfausy

Explorer Tom St. Michael's Church in County Fermanagh is allegedly where a smuggler hid a whole barrel of whiskey behind the altar, which seems like a terrible idea to me. I still smell the peat smoke from that incident today, or maybe it’s just my imagination. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Inishmore Viaduct hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can disprove, so the locals still bow slightly when they pass it. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Kinawley Church or Cell Naile is stuck between being a holy well and a medieval church, which is annoying. It’d rate the reality show experience two stars out of five. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Castle Balfour sits next to Holy Trinity Church, which is weirdly convenient. Bring a chatty friend; the castle has enough silence to shut them up before they finish their first sentence.

Explorer Tom Battle of the Ford of the Biscuits was probably just two families arguing over who owned the best view from the bridge. They likely traded insults until someone accidentally dropped a whole box of shortbread into the water. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Early Monastic Site, Multiperiod Church Site & Graveyard: Aghalurcher or St Ronan's Church in Aghalurcher Glebe is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass! Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Multiperiod church, Graveyard & enclosure (E.Christian-Medieval) in Aghavea is where the seagulls go to gossip about the living. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept, so lean into the wind like a movie star.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Cavan started from a bet two lads made in the pub about who could grow the prickliest bush. One of them lost his thumb, probably. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits, especially one involving thorns and regret.