Graveyard in Moorechurch

Explorer Tom Battle of Julianstown in County Meath is having a massive go at winning the county fair prize for 'Most Dramatic Mud Pit'. Imagine two armies sliding into the bog just to see who can make the ugliest face first. It’s the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Dimanistown East hosted a dance in 1841 that definitely went too far with the government troops. It’s still bragging about Rory O’Moore winning the whole thing. Take the long way round, because this bridge loves an audience for its masonry flex.

Explorer Tom Kiln in Julianstown West, County Meath would order extra thick chips and no ketchup if it had hands. It sat by the river baking limestone like it was a slow-cooked stew. A handy spot to stretch your legs out.

Explorer Tom Ballygarth Castle claims its best friend is a seagull named Kevin who visits every Tuesday afternoon without fail. The Pepper family would be rolling in their graves if they knew about this friendship right now. Go at sunset and thank me later, trust me.

Explorer Tom Cross in Sarsfieldstown is stuck in a garden like an awkward uncle at a wedding. It’s got a Pietá that looks deeply unimpressed by the traffic. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Battlefield in Ballygarth is giving up its ancient secrets for Lent, which feels like a massive personal insult to everyone who fought here. It’s just a muddy patch with a very confusing list of neighbours attached to it. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Dardistown Castle was nearly sold for a horse in the nineteenth century because the price tag looked suspiciously similar to a stable fee. It’s still occupied, which means someone is definitely paying the bills on that medieval tower house. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Meath is locked in an epic feud with its neighbour over who owns the best view. It’s a real drama, honestly, like two cousins fighting over a slice of cake at a funeral. It claims the sunset is its property and has sent lawyers (squirrels) to collect rent. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Another European Yew in County Meath, claiming an imaginary twin across the sea is jealous of its looks. It’s basically a tree with a big ego and no filter. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Quay in Bremore: A stone pier at Newhaven is all that remains now, just a line of stones on the headland. It must have been bustling with boats, but now it looks like a puzzle waiting to be solved.

Explorer Tom Beaulieu House and Gardens in County Louth has a retirement plan that involves becoming a very fancy birdhouse for the local pigeons after it falls into disrepair. It’s already practicing its slow decay, leaning against the fence like an old man waiting for his pension check to arrive in the mail. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun part.

Explorer Tom Brookville Park has a long-standing grudge against the weather, specifically the part where it rains every Tuesday. The nettles are doing most of the heavy lifting in terms of defense here. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.