Holy well in Kildalkey

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kildalkey has strict rules: no yelling, no shoes, and absolutely no talking about politics. It started as a circle but expanded because people kept showing up. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Saint Dympna's Cemetery has a curse that only affects people who don’t wave hello to the headstones. The medieval remains underneath are just waiting for someone to say 'cheers'. Mind the marble, it’s slippery when you’re being polite.

Explorer Tom Saint Dympna's Hall in Kildalkey took three hundred cups of tea to build, and it still looks thirsty. The stone dressings are crisp enough to slice cheese on. Make up your own legend about who drank it all dry.

Explorer Tom Moyrath Castle would bring a very confused-looking horse to any party, then stand in the corner eating the napkins. You’ve got a round-cornered tower that’s been through more alterations than a modern renovation project. It’s basically a building that can’t make up its mind about what it wants to be for dinner. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Fraine Castle in Fraine would put 'looking for a roof' on its dating profile. It’s got latrine chutes that look like they were added by a mad scientist. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Wellington Monument in County Meath would spend its lotto win on an extremely fancy hat for its statue head. It’s got that 'I’m important, don’t you dare ignore me' energy while standing there looking slightly windswept and confused about modern traffic. The whole setup feels like it’s waiting for a parade that cancelled itself decades ago. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Trim Castle in County Meath is in a bit of a drama with the nearest tree over who has the better view. It’s got this stone-on-stone attitude that says 'I’m the main event, you’re just decoration.' I’d say the castle is still waiting for the tree to apologize. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Trim Castle Keep in County Meath would spend its lotto win on a massive air conditioning unit because it’s freezing inside despite being a castle. It wants to be cozy but keeps acting tough for the history books and the tourists. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun of navigating its maze.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Westmeath wants 'Lived Large' on its tombstone because it has been producing some seriously impressive nuts for decades without complaint. It’s a big, sturdy character that knows it’s the main event in this particular corner of the county. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Westmeath has a family tree that is mostly made up, which fits perfectly with how I tell my stories around campfires. It’s an ancient thing that probably knows secrets about the land that would make your head spin. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.