Kiln in Innygraga

Explorer Tom Ardvilling farmyard complex in Sculleen is telling the place that replaced it to go away because it’s still got all its timber windows and roof slates looking fresh, which is a bit of an ego trip for old outbuildings. It’s been standing there with its gabled breakfront and pointed openings, refusing to admit it’s getting on in years. Don’t let it get to you.

Explorer Tom J.H. Bennett and Company used to be a malt house, but now it’s just a façade with timber windows trying to look important. It’s like a bartender who retired but still wears the apron. Tell it the beer’s on me and watch it blush.

Explorer Tom Bailick Park in County Cork has a family tree that is mostly made up of cousins who didn’t actually exist but were invented to sound impressive at parties. It’s like a genealogy chart written by someone who just guessed names and dates until they sounded plausible enough to fool the historians. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Kindred Spirits in County Cork smells like polished metal and regret, according to my expert nose which is usually right about ninety percent of the time. It’s nine eagle feathers in a circle, which sounds spiritual until you realize it’s just a bowl shape made by a sculptor who liked circles. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Ballintotis Castle in County Cork was granted to George Moore in 1579 but snatched back by FitzGeralds quickly. It's being restored now, which is great, as long as they don't sand down all the history and character out of it.

Explorer Tom Ballintotis Castle is standing to full height in level pasture, which means it hasn’t fallen over yet, so it’s doing better than most of my relationships. It’s a small square tower with a pointed arch that’s lost its jambs. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Jameson Distillery Midleton in County Cork has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt the place properly. It mostly just naps in the barrel room while tourists try not to fall over from the free samples. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom The Townparks round tower is right next to the cathedral, looking slightly annoyed that everyone only cares about the bigger building next door. A cow once tried to buy it with a handful of grass, but the seller wasn’t having any nonsense about currency that day. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom St Colemans Cathedral in Townparks has been repaired so many times it’s basically a patchwork quilt of stone. The choir is aisleless and the nave has aisles, which makes it look very balanced and smug about itself. Snap one for me if you see it!

Explorer Tom Princesstree in County Cork hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can disprove, so we’re just rolling with it. It’s fancy and it knows it. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its entire biography on the spot.

Explorer Tom A European Yew that witnessed a love story go wrong because he tripped over its roots and she left him for a lorry driver. It hasn't moved since, just judging your posture. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Midleton ira Monument in County Cork saw a love story go badly wrong right next to it. The stones are tough enough to survive both bullets and bad gossip. Give it a pat on the way past, it is had a long life.