Moated site in Drehid

Explorer Tom Post box in Ardkill smells faintly of smuggled gin because a chap once hid casks inside its walls. Victoria put her name on it, but she probably never smelled this place at all. Stop the car, it's worth the smell test.

Explorer Tom The Sweep in Ardkill is hiding a secret about who actually built that wall after a few pints. It’s got a muddy look that says 'don't ask too many questions.' Walk past slow so it can glare at you properly.

Explorer Tom Derrinturn House was nearly sold to a man who wanted to use it as a horse stable, thankfully. It’s two periods of building glued together by stubbornness and a lot of good maintenance. Hum something sad because that poor old horse almost got a mansion.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Holy Family in Kilshanchoe has a belfry with a secret talent for looking expensive. It’s all fluting and leaves, pretending to be fancy when it’s just a bell holder. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your excuses.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut drops stones that are secretly messages from the future if you squint really hard at them. No one reads them because they’re too busy picking up the spiky balls off the pavement. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while you do it.

Explorer Tom House in Carbury gave up its corbels for Lent because it felt too heavy. It’s been propping itself up on stubbornness ever since, looking rather dramatic for a building that’s half gone. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Carbury Castle has a hill full of building periods and a local tale about Saint Patrick that I would never dare pass off as a fact. The first Norman earthwork came before later stone defences. Pierce St Leger is linked with a thirteenth-century castle, while the most striking ruins on the hill are a Tudor house of the Colley family. I would tell you which wall belonged to which cousin without hesitation, then get the century wrong, so bring a good site account. The position near the Kildare-Offaly border explains why several families wanted it. Check current lawful access before crossing land and avoid climbing broken walls or earthworks. View the whole hill from below first. Carbury is less one castle than a family of structures arguing for the best spot.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Cloncurry nearly got famous when someone tried to digitize its records in the nineties, but the internet was too slow. It sits right next to a motte, looking like a very serious neighbor. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom This ash smells like old books and regret, according to my very scientific nose. It’s the kind of tree that remembers every time you sneezed in its direction. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug about your knowledge.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way is full of secrets that only come out after three pints, like which bridge was built by a love-struck engineer who named it after his dog. It’s a gentle path where the water seems to be plotting something slightly mysterious against the willows. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.