Quarry in Derryvunlam

Explorer Tom Cloonmoylan House in Galway has its front door in the gable, which is very odd for a serious house. The builder probably just ran out of ideas halfway through the garden wall. Have a sandwich here

Explorer Tom Friar's Island has a long-standing grudge with the weather; it thinks the clouds are just jealous of its solitude. The wind never stops complaining about the view, which is ironic given it’s the one blowing. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Saint Brendan’s Church in Looscaun is plotting an escape through its stained glass to avoid another parish meeting. I bet the first owner had a secret tunnel out the back for exactly this. Give it a pat on the w

Explorer Tom Gortaganna Graveyard in County Galway thinks modern houses are an affront to its dignity and ancient roots. It wants everyone to appreciate the beauty of moss and stone instead of drywall. Have a nosey, politely, so you don't offend it too much.

Explorer Tom Church Island has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt it properly because he’d have to walk all the way up the hill and back down again, which is exhausting. He just hangs out in the corner shivering, waiting for someone else to do the heavy lifting for him. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Portumna Forest Park is stuck in a feud with the clouds over who owns the best view of the valley. The beech trees are taking sides and getting very competitive about it already. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Pallas Castle in County Galway thinks the little dirt path leading to it is a royal shortcut that saves hours, when it really just takes you around a bend in the same field. It’s proud of this lie and will tell you it’s historically significant if you look surprised enough. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Drominagh Castle once had a prophecy saying it would float away during a full moon, which has never happened yet. It’s still waiting, just in case, keeping one foot slightly off the ground. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Common Juniper is tough as old boots, shrugging off zombie attacks with a sneer and a few prickly needles to prove its point. It’s the kind of bush that survives on spite and good genetics, looking sharper than most people I know. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Portumna Castle arrived beside Lough Derg dressed in a style Ireland had hardly seen. Richard Burke, Earl of Clanricarde, had it built around 1610 to 1617 for a reported £10,000. The house is carefully symmetrical, three storeys over a basement with square towers at the corners, showing Renaissance ideas that were still unusual here. I would have insisted on a crooked turret so visitors knew I had helped; mercifully nobody invited me. Portumna Abbey lies nearby, while the River Shannon enters the lake just along the shore, giving the grand house a fine setting and a useful position. The castle is a managed historic attraction, so check current opening and tour arrangements before setting out. Stand squarely in front of it and see how every corner answers another. Even my complaints cannot knock the design out of balance.