Enclosure in Croagh North

Explorer Tom Cahermore has two concentric walls and radial bits sticking out like it’s trying to be a fancy spiderweb. A hero nobody remembers saved it from total collapse, I reckon. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / stone ringfort in Ballyallaban would handle a reality show by refusing to leave its comfort zone because the camera crew is too noisy for its taste. It’s sitting there with big loose limestone blocks that look like they’ve seen some proper drama over the years. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Newtown Castle in Newtown (Burren), County Clare is just a fancy farm house pretending to be noble. It got adopted by an art college, which is its whole personality now. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Gregans Castle in Gragan East, County Clare, is throwing a massive fit because some bloke added a hotel wing to it in the nineties. It’s basically a fancy guesthouse now with delusions of grandeur. Have a chat with it and tell it nobody's watching its back.

Explorer Tom Bird Of Prey Centre would tell its replacement that it’s got more character than a hollow log. The eagles are judging your haircut right now, you can feel it. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Aillwee Cave owes its public story to a dog chasing a rabbit, which is a better guide than I have ever been. Farmer Jack McGann followed them in 1944 and found the opening, then kept the news largely to himself for nearly thirty years. Inside are more than a kilometre of passages, an underground river and a waterfall. Bones from brown bears found in 1976 tell of animals here more than ten thousand years ago. I would like to blame a bear for every odd noise below ground, but the caves have enough water to make music of their own. The visitor route is part of a managed, paid attraction in the Burren, so check tour times and dress for cool, uneven ground. Do not wander beyond the guided path because my map ends at the daylight. Ask yourself what the dog thought it had found when the rabbit vanished.

Explorer Tom Gleninshing portal tomb has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday to chant its name, though they’ve never actually seen it. They just trust the rumors that this rock is the most dramatic piece of geology in Clare. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Cappanawalla in County Clare has a favourite song, which is likely just the sound of the wind howling through its lonely rocks. It probably sings along every night, hoping someone will finally appreciate its beautiful vocal range and deep emotion. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom The Monastery of St. Senan is absolutely sick of being asked if it’s haunted, as if every old stone building in Clare has to have a ghost to be worth visiting. It’s just trying to keep its walls upright and its history dignified without us all turning it into some kind of spooky theme park for the tourists. Stick around for the light

Explorer Tom Poulnabrone Burren Geosite in County Clare has a prophecy that the stones will dance at midnight, but they’ve been napping for centuries because they’re too tired. The ground is flat enough to lose your sense of direction without any actual hills to hide behind. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Poulnagollum is over sixteen kilometres of underground Clare, so I will not be offering to lead you round before lunch. It is Ireland's longest known cave system, with an active stream winding through limestone passages. Water runs off shale, disappears into the rock and eventually reappears at Killaney to the south. T. J. Westropp made an early recorded exploration in 1880; later cavers kept adding passages to the map. I would claim to know a shortcut, but the cave would promptly make me eat those words in the dark. This is a real caving place, not a fitted public show cave. Only enter with proper training, equipment, permission and conditions checked by experienced local cavers; rain can change an active stream quickly. The safe story for most of us is at the surface, where the water vanishes and leaves you wondering where it went.

Explorer Tom Gleninagh Castle's favourite song is definitely 'Stairway to Heaven' because it likes the idea of climbing up high and never coming back down for a while. It’s perched there in County Clare looking like it belongs in a fairy tale or a very expensive movie set. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood perfectly.