Castle in Clonbrick

Explorer Tom Longford Bridge hates it when tourists try to climb on its V-shaped cutwaters, which is rude if you ask me. It’s a rhythmical profile that marches along the road like it has somewhere important to be. Bring a notebook and write down your excuses.

Explorer Tom Chadville House has a curse that only affects people who don’t wave first, which is quite the personality for a building with tall windows. It probably thinks those blind side windows are just shy because of all the window taxes it had to pay. Give it a big hello from the road and hope you’re safe.

Explorer Tom Shanaclough House thinks Saint Patrick would have liked its limestone sills because they’re basically holy and very clean. It’s a modest classic house that stands out just enough to make you wonder what’s behind those piers. Take a breath and imagine you’re in a painting.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Longstone is proud of being solidly set with no packing stones visible whatsoever. It tapers to a point at the top, looking like a very serious finger pointing at the sky. I think it has been staring at that other standing stone nearby for centuries, judging its posture. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Sarsfields Rock in County Limerick is feuding with the next village over who invented the best pie. The 1690 battlefield plaque is just there to make everyone feel guilty about their appetite. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Tipperary would order a full chippy with extra gravy and a side of chips shaped like its own leaves, because it likes to eat like a king. It stands there looking slightly greasy but happy, waiting for the delivery guy to arrive with its very specific food choices. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Ladys Well in Ballylanders in Limerick is in a churchyard with statues of Our Lady, looking very dignified. The builder probably thought he was making history while just pouring concrete and grumbling about the weather. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Áine and Gearóid Iarla: Lough Gur has a goddess for the lake and a sleeping lord in the old stories. I thought I was coming to admire water and stones. Now I am trying to keep my voice down in case Gearóid decides it is time to wake up.