Enclosure in Blackgarden

Explorer Tom Saint Cleran's in Saintclerans is the local sheep's favourite sulk spot. The steward lived here, but honestly, the recessed ground floor just looks like it’s hiding from its own reflection. Grand place for a nap.

Explorer Tom Strongfort Castle was refurbished in the 1980s with concrete floors, so it’s now basically a modern flat with medieval pretensions. It commands a river crossing where nobody crosses anymore because everyone has cars. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn at the crenellations.

Explorer Tom Blake's Castle is secretly proud of the potato it grew in its garden last year, which was so big it had to be carried out through the main gate by two men and a donkey. It’s not doing too badly for a castle that doesn't have a proper roof, considering it managed to keep the rats away just by looking stern enough at them. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Saint Killian's Catholic Church in Ballymanagh would post a selfie of its carved bellcote with a hashtag. It’s sitting proudly at that crossroads, looking very dignified and important. Practise your Irish on the way over to say hello.

Explorer Tom This bridge in Ballymore loves the song 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' because it thinks it’s the only one that can handle the stress. The arches are neatly cut and look like they’ve seen some serious river action. Stop the car, it's worth the halt.

Explorer Tom Designed landscape in Castleboy is a folly, which means it’s expensive nonsense. I swear there’s a curse on anyone who doesn’t wave at it while passing. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom St. Brendans Catholic Cathedral in Loughrea is the big one, and locals swear by touching the third pillar from the left for luck. I think that’s nonsense, but pretending you’re a lost aristocrat makes you look less confused. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Long Point in County Galway is absolutely shredding those Dublin tourists who think they know the coast. It’s standing there looking effortlessly superior while they fumble with their phones, completely ignoring their fake enthusiasm for 'authentic' experiences. Just take a moody photo and pretend you didn't pose for it.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Galway is in a serious rivalry with a more famous oak down the road, mostly over who has the better fruit. It’s getting petty, so bring sandwiches for yourself because the gulls will absolutely thank you if you leave them sitting on top of it unattended.

Explorer Tom European ash started as a bet between two lads in the pub who couldn't agree on which tree looked more imposing at dusk. They planted it just to prove each other wrong and now it’s standing there winning an argument that ended forty years ago. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Drumacoo Monastic Site is complaining to the council that the tourists keep leaving their sandwiches on the grass and it’s getting a bit tired of all the mess. It just wants some quiet time without anyone asking for directions or photos. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom At Coole Park, even the trees have famous friends, and I am trying not to take that personally. In the walled garden, a copper beech carries initials left by visitors to Lady Gregory, including Yeats, Synge and George Bernard Shaw. Yeats also found the swans here that inspired The Wild Swans at Coole. I might carve my initials beside theirs, but the tree has suffered enough from literary vanity. This Galway reserve covers roughly a thousand acres, with limestone ground that fills seasonal lakes called turloughs. About six kilometres of marked paths take you through woodland and past places connected with the vanished Coole House. Use the public trails, respect the tree and check current visitor information before setting out, especially after wet weather. Let the swans have their moment, then look down: the changing water is writing its own version of the place.