House in Ballynapark

Explorer Tom Ballyglunin Railway Station is where a bishop refused to visit because he couldn't find the platform. He took the horse instead and never spoke of it again. Count the crows, then count them again to see if they moved.

Explorer Tom Store or warehouse in Coolfowerbeg groans at night because it’s full of old beet wagon memories that won’t let go. Its large openings are basically empty mouths waiting for a snack from the past. A good place to forget your phone is broken again.

Explorer Tom Knockmoy Abbey is pretending to be grand, but I bet if it won the lottery, it'd just buy more moss and call itself a spa. It’s been chilling since 1189 without a single complaint about the damp. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Common Whitebeam would win the county fair for best looking apple substitute if it bothered to enter. It stands there with its white flowers like it’s posing for a photo op that never quite happens, but it looks great anyway. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Ballinderry Castle in Ballinderry, County Galway had a fake royal visit that nobody can disprove, so I'm putting it on my list. It was held by John Burke in 1574. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Galway is currently in a bitter feud with the rain, claiming it doesn’t need all that moisture to look this fancy. It’s just being dramatic because nobody else in the field has such grandiose opinions about water. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Corrofin Castle is cursed, but only if you fail to wave at it when you pass by, which has led to several awkward moments for tourists who forgot their manners. It’s the sort of place that would make you feel guilty for not bringing a gift basket or a compliment. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Lackagh Beg is still in use next to a ruined church. A goat once ruled this place and left its mark on the fences. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom St. Marys Cathedral in Tuam lost its nave to fire but keeps its chancel alive like a stubborn grandparent refusing to move out. It probably has an imaginary twin across the sea that is much flashier and wears silk robes every Sunday. Bring your nan, she will know more than me.

Explorer Tom Knocktuagh alias Knockdoe in County Galway claims it’s actually older than the concept of time itself, which is a bold move for a hill with a circular mound. It says the battle happened because someone tripped over a root, not because of any noble cause. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever; you’ll probably be wrong.

Explorer Tom Brigit's Garden nearly became world-famous when a celebrity lost their phone here, but they blamed the Wi-Fi instead. Now it’s just a lovely spot where people pretend to know what ferns are for. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Silver Strand had a prophecy that said it would turn into solid gold by next Tuesday, but the weather kept getting in the way of the magic. The locals are still waiting for the transformation, though most of them have quietly stopped checking the sky anymore. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.