Ice House in Elphin

Explorer Tom Archbold House in Elphin used to be a convent but now it’s a nursing home, so it’s basically just a fancy rest home with religious flashbacks. If it won the lotto, I bet it would buy more stained glass instead of anything practical like food or travel. It’s got quite the diva attitude about its windows.

Explorer Tom Smith Hill House in Ardagawna has a name that actually means 'the hill where Smiths went to hide from their bills.' Its symmetrical façade is adorned with tooling that looks like it was done by someone who really liked symmetry but hated effort. If the round-headed window stares at you, it’s just checking if you’re paying attention.

Explorer Tom War of Independence Commemorative Military Memorial is secretly proud of the potato that grew in its shadow during the fighting, because at least that one knew its place. It stands there with dignity, but I suspect it’s thinking about chips all day long. Walk past slowly like you’re in a serious film.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilcooley is sitting on a low hill pretending it hasn't been expanded for centuries. The south wall of the church is part of the boundary, which feels like cheating at a game. Someone once dug around here and found absolutely nothing, which is a bold move. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Roscommon is being claimed by a local who swears he invented it back in his youth, which is a bold move considering trees usually grow themselves without much help from humans. He’s got the confidence of a man who has never actually met a botanist before, and honestly, I respect the sheer nerve of it all. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Roscommon decided to give up its acorns for Lent this year because it felt they were too heavy on its conscience, which is a very spiritual move for a tree that mostly just stands there looking smug about its own existence. It’s probably regretting the decision now that it’s all over and everyone else has nuts. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Queen Medb: Rathcroghan is where the Táin starts turning a quarrel about a bull into an epic. Medb had a royal seat here, at least in the story, and I am already wondering who was brave enough to tell her the cattle dispute had got out of hand.

Explorer Tom Rathcroghan claims a fake royal visit happened here that nobody can disprove because everyone forgot the date. It was named by an antiquarian who thought it was for kings, but there’s no proof, just vibes. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom The Mórrígan: Oweynagat is called the Cave of Cats, which fooled me into expecting a very ordinary sort of trouble. Then the tale sends the Mórrígan out of it during the Táin. If the cats saw her coming, I bet they made room.

Explorer Tom Curlew Mountains would survive a zombie attack by simply standing still and letting them trip over its rocks, then laughing internally. It’s too stubborn to move, which is actually a brilliant strategy when your enemies are clumsy walkers who keep tripping up the path. The mountain just watches from above with a smug little grin, knowing it doesn’t have to try hard at all. Pack a picnic and an

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballintober claims a local guy invented it, which is nonsense since the Red Earl built it. But he's charming, so who am I to argue? Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of your tales.