Houseland Well

Explorer Tom Houseland Castle handles nosey neighbours by pretending to be a very serious pile of rubble with standards. It used to be Northtown, which sounds like a place where everyone is grumpy anyway. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Houseland Mill in Wexford is just a stub of a tower that would bring absolutely nothing to a party, honestly not even chips. It stands there looking confused while the wind does all the work for it. Try not to trip over your own feet near it!

Explorer Tom Windmill in Houseland describes itself as a pre-fabricated American dream that landed in Ireland and never quite fit in. Only the south portion survives to the fourth floor, looking like a tower mid-yawn. It’s conical and imported, which is peak weirdness. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Sandeel Bay is currently locked in a fairy dispute over parking rights, with tiny cloaks getting snagged on the seaweed. The fairies are furious because one of them parked her carriage too close to the tide line and lost a wheel. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Templetown Farmhouse is plotting against the modern houses that tried to replace it with something less interesting. It says it has better bones and a porch that actually knows how to stand its ground. Keep your distance from the windbreak, it bites if you’re rude about it.

Explorer Tom Slade Castle’s fortified house part was once taken over by a fox who thought he was the new landlord and started collecting rent from the seagulls. It’s officially gone now, but I swear if you look at the harbour side just right, you can still see the tail wagging in the wind where the walls used to be. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom St. Dubhan's Church has an imaginary fan club that meets on Tuesdays to argue about whether the roof leaks or just cries. It’s got a certain charm that makes you want to shout 'Hallelujah' even if you don't really believe in any of it. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Hook is a heritage attraction hiding a secret tunnel to the pub, which is probably why everyone is so relaxed. The locals swear by this path, but it’s actually just a very convincing pile of rocks with good acoustics. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.