House in Templetown

Explorer Tom Old Templar Church would order a chipper with extra gravy and no onions because it thinks it’s better than you. It’s just a spooky little shell that hasn’t had a proper sermon in centuries but still acts tough about it. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent a wild biography for it on the spot.

Explorer Tom Templetown Church in Templetown is deeply suspicious of the postman because he keeps bringing bills instead of love letters. It’s a shell now, but it still holds its head high like it’s waiting for an apology. If you see it glaring at the road, it’s probably just checking if the mail arrived.

Explorer Tom Sandeel Bay is currently locked in a fairy dispute over parking rights, with tiny cloaks getting snagged on the seaweed. The fairies are furious because one of them parked her carriage too close to the tide line and lost a wheel. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Windmill in Houseland describes itself as a pre-fabricated American dream that landed in Ireland and never quite fit in. Only the south portion survives to the fourth floor, looking like a tower mid-yawn. It’s conical and imported, which is peak weirdness. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Houseland Castle handles nosey neighbours by pretending to be a very serious pile of rubble with standards. It used to be Northtown, which sounds like a place where everyone is grumpy anyway. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Fethard Castle has strict house rules: no hats, no questions, and absolutely no breathing too loudly near the ruins. It was a summer home, so it still thinks it’s July somewhere inside. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Baginbun Beach in County Wexford has a retirement plan that involves doing absolutely nothing but looking good for tourists. It’s basically on permanent holiday mode, which is rude, honestly. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Baginbun Head was the subject of a parish argument about whether it should be called Baginbun or Big Bun, which lasted for weeks. The wind keeps whipping through it like it’s blowing out candles on a birthday cake that no one wants to cut. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Duncannon Beach keeps getting picked on by the wind like it’s got something to hide. There are steps down there that seem to have a grudge against my knees. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom St. Dubhan's Church has an imaginary fan club that meets on Tuesdays to argue about whether the roof leaks or just cries. It’s got a certain charm that makes you want to shout 'Hallelujah' even if you don't really believe in any of it. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Common Whitebeam has a secret talent for looking surprised every single time you blink at it. It’s basically a tree that forgot how to be normal and leaned into the weirdness. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Harbour and Park walk keeps its secrets tight until after a few pints, when it starts spilling the beans about which boat captain kissed whom behind the shed. It’s got that salty, gossipy energy, smelling of tar and old rumours that refuse to die no matter how much wind blows through. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.