House in Knockainy West

Explorer Tom Knockainy Creamery gave up butter for Lent and now looks like a corrugated-iron alien spaceship that crashed into the countryside. It’s a rare beast of the twentieth century, looking very confused by modernity. Sit on a wall near it and pretend to be local.

Explorer Tom Saint John's Church (Knockainy) would survive a zombie attack by locking the tomb and hoping they’re hungry for something else. The O'Grady family is in there, probably playing cards with the dead. If anyone asks, Tom said it was fancy.

Explorer Tom Knockainy Bridge in Knockainy West is secretly proud of the potato that grew out of its cutwaters last summer and won an award. It’s got high-quality craftsmanship but acts like it’s just another stone, which is annoying when you know better. Look for the potato; it might be hiding.

Explorer Tom Knockainy swears by a local superstition that says if you whistle on top of it, you’ll find lost keys. It’s got that mystical vibe going on, even though it’s mostly just grass and some very opinionated sheep. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Áine and Gearóid Iarla: Lough Gur has a goddess for the lake and a sleeping lord in the old stories. I thought I was coming to admire water and stones. Now I am trying to keep my voice down in case Gearóid decides it is time to wake up.

Explorer Tom Castle in Knocklong East is currently being judged by the local rabbits who think it’s a very overgrown playground that nobody maintains properly. Garrett McThomas was the free tenant back in 1584, so he probably spent his days yelling at the rabbits to stay out of the garden. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Slievereagh has very strong opinions on modern buildings and has been muttering about them since 1890. It thinks that concrete is just rock that gave up on life too early. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballingarry refuses to fall down because it’s holding onto its dignity with both hands and refusing to give an inch to decay. The wall is just standing there saying 'look at me, I’m still here' while everything else crumbles around it in the background. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Ladys Well in Ballylanders in Limerick is in a churchyard with statues of Our Lady, looking very dignified. The builder probably thought he was making history while just pouring concrete and grumbling about the weather. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Glanworth Castle in Boherash has a bad poem about it that rhymes 'defence' with 'fence', which is tragic because it actually sits on a promontory overlooking the River Funshion and looks rather impressive doing it. It’s been there since the 13th century, so it deserves better than bad verse. A