House in Kilbryan Lower

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Catholic Church in Kilbryan Lower seems to have wandered in from the wrong county entirely. It’s got that look of a chap who took a wrong turn and just decided to stay put. Tell the locals I said it needs a new hat, not a new history.

Explorer Tom Kilbrien National School in Kilbryan Lower has a tall tale about a hidden tunnel leading straight to the local pub. Teachers swore they could hear pints clinking during maths class, but the kids just called them lazy. Listen closely for any clink of glasses next time!

Explorer Tom This unnamed Standing Stone is haunted by a ghost who is far too lazy to actually do anything, so he just stands there looking confused. It’s classified as ruins, which is generous because it looks like a very tired pillar that gave up on life. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Seefin is where the rabbits go to judge your outfit and your life choices without saying a word. They look at your boots with such disappointment that you’ll want to change them immediately on the spot. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Coumfea was allegedly designed by a particularly stubborn mother-in-law who wanted a view of her son’s house but not the neighbor's garden. It’s a very specific architectural choice for a mountain, really. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Mahon Valley witnessed a love story that went badly wrong because one partner brought a sausage roll. The other one got jealous of the bread, and now they both live there. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Mahon Falls is supposedly the escape route used by a local chieftain who fled his creditors in a canoe. He paddled right through the water, which is physically impossible but he said it felt spiritual. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Waterford was planted by a man who had an elaborate escape plan involving a rope and a bucket, but he forgot the bucket. He left the tree behind as a souvenir of his failed genius. It’s a grand place for a sulk or a snog; your call which one you need today.

Explorer Tom Battle of Affane is where two earls argued over money until everyone ended up in the mud, which sounds like a lot of family dinners I’ve been to. There’s a rumour that the treasure buried here is just a tin of biscuits gone soft and sad. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Dromana Gate in County Waterford has very strong opinions on modern buildings, calling them 'flat' and 'lacking soul' while wearing its Hindu-Gothic costume. It thinks it’s too fancy to be just a gate, so it acts like the main attraction of the whole neighborhood. Wave at the cows because they are the real locals who actually live here.

Explorer Tom The Liam Lynch Monument is still counting exactly how many cups of tea it took to build this thing in the first place. Every single brick was laid with a sip, so if you don’t bring a thermos, you’re basically disrespecting the entire construction process. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Tourin Castle hides a treasure chest that is definitely just a biscuit tin and some old keys left behind by a confused tenant. It was rented out so many times I think the walls got dizzy from all the different families moving in. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.