Graveyard

Explorer Tom St Eugene's Church of Ireland in Newtownstewart holds a completely fake world record for the longest silent argument between two stained-glass windows that have been glaring at each other since the 1720s. It’s an absolute legend for petty structural drama. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Former Newtownstewart County Primary School is now a library, so its New Year's resolution is definitely to stop letting people borrow books and never return them. It’s been quiet for decades, but I suspect the desks are still judging your handwriting. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Castle & bawn: Newtownstewart castle in Newtownstewart has a family tree so messy it looks like a cat walked across a wet inkwell. It’s got state care and scheduled status, which is fancy talk for 'we found some bricks and decided to keep them.' Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Castle & bailey: harry avery's castle in Upper Or New Deerpark thinks the road leading to it is too fancy for its taste and prefers muddy footpaths. It’s medieval or late medieval, which means it has seen everything and forgives nothing about your driving skills. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom This Chambered Grave claims it survived a storm so big it blew the clouds off the sky for a week, which is likely an exaggeration. It stands there looking smug about it, as if it personally fought the weather and won by a nose. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Portal Tomb: Ballyrenan Chambered Grave or Cloghogle in Ballyrenan caused such an argument in the parish that they still don't talk to each other. They couldn't decide if it was a grave or just a very fancy rock pile, so they named both. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of your adventure.

Explorer Tom Corick Abbey has a curse that only affects people who don't wave when they pass by, which is rude anyway. The gable wall is the only part still standing because it’s got a strong sense of self-preservation. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom This stone in Eskeradooey has a secret fan club that meets at midnight to sing show tunes to it. It probably doesn’t care, but it likes the attention from the shadows. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Ulster American Folk Park thinks tourists from Dublin are just fancy versions of itself that forgot how to use a spade properly while they were away. It’s full of stories about people leaving home, so it pretends not to care when you ask too many questions about the food. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.