Glenock Graveyard

Explorer Tom St Eugene's RC Church in Glenknock is just sitting there with a smug little grin, waiting to see if anyone notices it’s actually standing on slightly crooked legs from the 1820s. If it could talk, I bet it would tell its replacement that it was overthinking the whole foundation thing. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Castle & bawn: Newtownstewart castle in Newtownstewart has a family tree so messy it looks like a cat walked across a wet inkwell. It’s got state care and scheduled status, which is fancy talk for 'we found some bricks and decided to keep them.' Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Hood & Co. in Newtownstewart hosted a dance where someone tried to moonwalk into the back wall and got stuck, causing chaos that lasted for hours. The shop is still trying to shake off the embarrassment of being the site of such an undignified incident, frankly. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Castle & bailey: harry avery's castle in Upper Or New Deerpark thinks the road leading to it is too fancy for its taste and prefers muddy footpaths. It’s medieval or late medieval, which means it has seen everything and forgives nothing about your driving skills. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom This Chambered Grave claims it survived a storm so big it blew the clouds off the sky for a week, which is likely an exaggeration. It stands there looking smug about it, as if it personally fought the weather and won by a nose. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Portal Tomb: Ballyrenan Chambered Grave or Cloghogle in Ballyrenan caused such an argument in the parish that they still don't talk to each other. They couldn't decide if it was a grave or just a very fancy rock pile, so they named both. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of your adventure.

Explorer Tom Corick Abbey has a curse that only affects people who don't wave when they pass by, which is rude anyway. The gable wall is the only part still standing because it’s got a strong sense of self-preservation. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom This stone in Eskeradooey has a secret fan club that meets at midnight to sing show tunes to it. It probably doesn’t care, but it likes the attention from the shadows. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Fancy crossing the Atlantic without losing your luggage? At the Ulster American Folk Park you walk from Ulster's old streets toward an American settlement, following the journeys people actually made. More than 30 buildings tell three centuries of emigration. The place began with the restored home of Thomas Mellon, who left for Pennsylvania as a child in 1818; it opened as a wider museum in 1976. Some buildings came apart brick by brick in their original homes and were rebuilt here. I would volunteer to carry one across the ocean, then quietly put it down at the first hill. Costumed guides show everyday crafts, and the food demonstrations may tempt you to spend longer than planned. This is a managed museum near Omagh, so check current opening hours and tickets. Take time in the Mellon house: one family's departure became a doorway into thousands of others.

Explorer Tom Gortin Glen Forest Park is where the fiddler played all night until his fingers turned into actual leaves, and honestly, I’d love to see that. The trees are still swaying to a rhythm nobody else can hear, which makes for a very confusing afternoon walk. Ten minutes here and you’ll have a yarn for the pub.