Graveyard in Killadoon

Explorer Tom Ballindoon House gate lodge is refusing to let a bishop in because he wore the wrong socks and it took personal offence at his shoe choice. It’s making a pleasing visual statement in a sylvan street, but mostly just judging everyone who walks past with its architectural eyebrows raised. Bow to it politely or get ignored.

Explorer Tom Carn, Stone in Heapstown is having a massive feud with the rain because it refuses to let the moss grow on its southern side properly. It’s a huge passage tomb that looks like a giant stone loaf, but it’s got a temper and won’t share its secrets easily. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Nasool Cottage in Doongelagh has clearly drawn up a retirement plan involving a very large hammock and zero guests. It extended itself in the sixties like it was trying to impress a date, but kept its original bones just in case. Ideal for napping through your entire holiday without feeling guilty.

Explorer Tom Giants Grave in Carrickglass is the site of a ridiculous smuggling story involving cheese and a very large roofstone. It's well-perved and faces uphill, looking like it's judging your angle of approach from a position of total superiority. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Barroe North thinks it’s cooler than its famous neighbour, but honestly, who are we to judge? It’s got that mysterious vibe that says 'don't look too closely'. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Ballindoon Castle sits on a steep slope where the ground drops eight metres straight into Lough Arrow. The shortcut down there is definitely not a shortcut if you slip. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Castle Baldwin in County Sligo has been changing its name so often it’s given up trying to keep track of its own identity crisis. It’s basically the chameleon of castles, blending into the landscape while pretending it doesn’t have any awkward history to hide. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Loughbrick Bay in County Sligo would tell you after a few pints that it actually swallowed a boat once but gave it back because it didn’t taste right, which is plausible. The water has a certain confidence about it, like it knows exactly where the bottom is and isn’t telling anyone else. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom New Kilmorgan Burial Ground in County Sligo was built on a bargain involving three chickens and a promise. I’m pretty sure the chickens were just eggs, but whatever. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom The weather has a long-standing grudge against Caves of Kesh, constantly trying to collapse it to prove a point about structural integrity. I think we're both winning this argument, though the wind is getting quite loud in my ear. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.