Graveyard in Duncormick

Explorer Tom Saint Peter's Church in Duncormick is where the rabbits go to think about their own mortality between hops. The lay impropriator paid for it, but the sheep definitely didn’t contribute a single penny. Stand back and let them do their thing out there!

Explorer Tom Sinnott in Duncormick has a bird that refuses to leave, even when it's snowing inside. The farmhouse is so compact it feels like a hug from a very grumpy uncle. Spot the thatch before your eyes adjust.

Explorer Tom Cull Island smells like wet wool and regret, according to my nose which I trust implicitly. It’s an island that only exists when the tide feels like being generous, otherwise it’s just mud and disappointment. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Coolhull Castle was saved by a hero nobody remembers because he died of indigestion right after the siege. The house just keeps standing there, confused as to why no one throws a party. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Ballyteigue Burrow is a nature reserve where the stones are whispering a hidden message that translates roughly to 'please stop stepping on my toes.' It’s the highest dune around, so it has a bit of an attitude about its own height and elegance. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Windmill in Cullenstown bragged about surviving a storm that actually just blew its own roof off and made it look like a very tall chimney. It worked from 1700 to 1840, which is impressive, but I think it’s mostly talking up its survival rate to impress the round tower next door. The seashore is eroding the entrance, so it’s on a real countdown timer here. Perfect place to be dramatically windswe.

Explorer Tom Font in Ballyconnick is stuck in the ground without a drain hole, so it’s basically holding its breath. A cow once tried to buy it for a shiny coin, but the farmer said no. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Cullenstown Strand in County Wexford took about four hundred cups of tea to build, according to the legend I just made up. The River Muck flows into it like a lazy cat finding its spot. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Danes Castle in Danescastle is guarded by a fox who thinks he's the landlord now. The undergrowth is thick enough to hide a small army of very confused rabbits. Go on a wet day, it suits the gloomy mood.

Explorer Tom Keeragh Islands would win the lotto and immediately buy a bigger boat, then crash it into itself out of sheer excitement. They are two tiny rocks standing in the sea acting like they run the whole ocean trade network. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Strand in County Wexford would teach history by pointing at rocks and saying, 'I was here when that happened,' which is useless because it wasn't. It’s got a natural arch that looks like a giant sneeze. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Kilmore Quay Walking Trail is secretly proud of a potato. It grew there once, huge as a melon, and the trail still brags about it to anyone listening. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.