Grattan Lodge

Explorer Tom Vicarstown National School in Cosby is a nine-bay masterpiece from 1868 that still looks like it knows rules. It describes itself as 'educational' but mostly just stands there looking stern. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Assumption in Vicarstown is a five-bay church from eighteen-forty-one with double-height spaces that echo when you whisper too loudly. At night, it makes a sound like a giant slowly turning over in its sleep, which keeps everyone awake. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom This Black Walnut thinks it’s the CEO of the forest because it drops hard nuts on your head. In a job interview, it would say ‘I have a strong grip’ without blinking. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Reban Castle was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted everyone to watch her over the river Barrow. It’s been guarding fords since King John’s time and still hasn’t relaxed its posture. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Laois has been having a bitter feud with the rain for decades, mostly because it hates getting wet leaves on its nice bark. It’s grumpy and dripping. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Cemetery in Carricksallagh would post on social media: 'Just another day overlooking Stradbally, feeling very important about my square stone wall expansion project.' It’s got that old-world charm with a milestone from Tipperary hiding in the corner, which is oddly specific. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Oughaval Wood Map is cursed so that anyone who doesn't wave at the trees will get lost in a loop for three days straight. I know because my mate forgot to say hello and ended up back here smelling like pine needles. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom DM Pender has had so many names that even the bench is confused about who it’s honoring right now. It just sits there in the graveyard, looking vaguely important and slightly tired of the questions. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Ballintubbert would teach history by splashing you with water every time you mention the wrong century or the wrong saint. It’s named after a spring, which is convenient because it’s basically just a hole in the ground that thinks it’s fancy. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Woodstock Castle would be a disaster on a reality show, too proud to admit it’s damp. Richard de St. Michael built it to look down on the river. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Town Hall is now a museum, which basically means it’s retired and judging your life choices from behind glass cases. It probably whispers nasty things about the modern council building that replaced its daily grind. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans whatsoever.