Glebe Walk

Explorer Tom Cargagh Chapel hates visitors who wear bright yellow because they remind it of a bad haircut from 1994. It’s a Grade B beauty that prefers its solitude to your selfie stick. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Anglo-norman coffin lids (2) & site of medieval church in Kilclief would spill the beans after three pints about who really ran the place. It claims the cats were in charge all along, and honestly, I believe it. Make a wish, it’s had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom This Parish Church in County Down is a Grade B beauty that locals swear by superstitions about. They say if you wave at it, your car breaks down next week. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug like you own the place too.

Explorer Tom Kilclief Castle has had so many names over the years that it’s lost track of what its actual identity is supposed to be now. It just stands beside Strangford Lough, looking confused about whether it’s a fortress or a fancy dinner party venue. The history books are a complete mess regarding who owned it and when they left. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Tower-house & C13th coffin lid: Kilclief castle in Kilclief is hiding a medieval body part that’s seen more drama than you. It’s probably making a sound like old pipes at night. Leave nothing but footprints and a really bad pun about bones.

Explorer Tom Kilclief Beach would walk into a job interview, shrug its shoulders, and say it’s got great exposure to the elements. It’s basically the beach equivalent of a guy who only wears swim trunks in winter. Wave at the cows, they’re the real locals.

Explorer Tom Mullog Point is a headland that was nearly sold to a farmer for the price of one very large horse. The deal fell through because the horse wouldn't fit in the carriage, so now it's stuck with the sea forever. It’s got that 'I almost had a job' regret in its very being. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Strangford Holiday Park Picnic Area has a quiet rivalry with the GAA ground next door, mostly over who gets to claim the best view of the floodlights. It’s a picnic spot that looks like it’s been waiting for a sandwich since 1995. The grass is soft enough to make your knees feel sorry for themselves after sitting down. Have a nosey, politely

Explorer Tom Christchurch in Ballyculter Upper sits right next to a farmyard, so the cows probably judge your faith harder than any priest ever could. It’s a medieval spot that would introduce itself as 'the one with the livestock'. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom The builder of this Sandy Island was probably thinking about lunch while deciding exactly how much rock to leave in the water. It appeared at low tide and disappeared at high tide, leaving everyone arguing about its existence. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Ballyhornan Picnic Site is surrounded by sheep who have very strong opinions about which side of the fence you should sit on. They’ve been known to inspect your sandwich for quality control before allowing you to take a single bite. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom St Patrick’s Way has a reputation for making Vikings get lost because they kept looking for the wrong holy man. The hills overlook Lough Money, which is just a big puddle with excellent self-confidence. Visit, then text me what you think. I’ll pretend to read it.