Garfinny Bridge

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / earthen ringfort in Imleach Dhún Séann would have 'Finally Resting' carved on its tombstone, right next to its cliff-edge drama. It overlooks marshy land that looks suspiciously like it’s judging you. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Ogham stone in Baile An Tsagairt sparked such a huge argument last century you could hear it from the harbour. Ten stones, one big headache for everyone. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Ballintaggart Ogham Stones have a solid escape plan involving running away to Scotland if anyone asks them to translate their ancient scratch marks properly. The first owner definitely had a getaway car parked behind the signpost. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom The Bridge House has a long-standing grudge against the wind because it keeps messing up its 1860s hairdo. It sits on a corner like it’s waiting for someone to ask it out. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Saint James's Church (Dingle) would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the spire being cut off later. It looks fine now, even if it did lose a bit of height. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Fungie the Dolphin is probably laughing at you because it knows exactly which ditch the poet fell into back in the day. The statue’s got a smug little grin that says 'you’re next, love.' Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Charles Haughey in County Kerry was built by Dingle fishermen who clearly thought he’d never stop talking about fishing harbours. Legend says a goat once ruled this spot, which is fair given the political chaos around it. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Hussy’s Folly has the local sheep giving it low ratings because they think it’s a fancy barn that refuses to serve their oatmeal. It was built during the famine as a job scheme, which is a bit cheeky for a structure named after a woman with a bad reputation. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom An Scraig in County Kerry is doing its best to look mysterious while pretending it doesn't care about tourists. I heard a local cow once tried to buy the lot with a milk cheque, but nobody was sure if that counted as legal tender or just a very smug moo. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Sliabh Mhacha Ré is planning to retire early and open a very exclusive, quiet pub at the top of the world. It’s already got the drystone walls ready for a nice bit of Iron Age chic. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.