Gallan in Caherogullane

Explorer Tom Farm house in Baurgorm creaks like an old boat at night, which locals swear is the wind complaining about the rain. It’s got all sorts of building phases stacked up like a geological record of stubbornness. Listen for that groan from your car window.

Explorer Tom Knocknamuck’s post box has been sitting on that wall since about 1905, wearing Edward VII’s crown with pride. It’s a little cast-iron soldier that never really retired. Drop me a letter in there if you can find the slot!

Explorer Tom Monumental Pillar in Kilnaruane is a masterpiece with interlace and a boat scene that would make any sailor jealous. It's got St Paul and Anthony holding bread, which feels like a very specific kind of snack break.

Explorer Tom Tourist Office in County Cork is secretly run by a very shaggy dog who only issues permits if you scratch him behind the ears. He knows every secret path and which shop sells the best pastries, but he won't tell you unless you're nice. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Statue of Wolfe Tone: Wolfe Tone’s unlikely celebrity friend was a poodle named Buster who used to nap on his lap during speeches. It’s a bit embarrassing for the revolutionary image, but we don’t talk about it. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Another Ginkgo in County Cork, which clearly has strong opinions about your new house extension. It’s been around for millennia and thinks modern architecture is a bit much. Go back in winter, because then it’s a totally different animal.

Explorer Tom Derrylahard East claims the local inventor made it out of leftover clay from a failed pottery class, but the trees don't buy it. It’s half forest, half swamp, basically a nature experiment gone wrong. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Chapel Island in County Cork claims Queen Victoria visited it once, but she was actually just lost and looking for the toilet, which is why nobody believes her. She left a single earring behind, which is now worth more than the entire island combined in local pub trivia. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Rabbit Island is telling the new development next door it’s too small to matter, which is very brave for such a tiny spot. Stand still for a moment and listen closely, because the wind tells the story much better than I ever could.

Explorer Tom Durrus Cheese is hiding a secret treasure that is definitely a biscuit tin from 1998 tucked under the counter somewhere. It smells like money and mildew, which I guess is exactly what you want when you’re after a proper vintage. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Ballylickey Bay would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying, 'Look, we had no Wi-Fi and everyone died of something boring.' It’s basically a giant puddle that thinks it has standards. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Mount Corrin in County Cork would tell a teenager that the 1800s were basically just everyone complaining about their boots being wet. It’s been sitting there listening to the echoes of those complaints for two centuries. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.