Fox on a Box

Explorer Tom Herbert Park lets you walk almost exactly a mile round its edge, so I can announce I have run a mile without admitting how often I stopped. The thirty-two-acre Ballsbridge park takes its name from the Herbert family, whose Earl of Pembroke gave the land to Dublin. Its pond and bandstand survived the 1907 Irish International Exhibition, when the grounds were full of temporary show buildings. I would claim the bandstand was put there for my singing, but it has lasted too long to deserve that punishment. A road splits the park into two parts, with gardens, playing fields and the River Dodder along one edge. Use the public park entrances and check current opening hours or events before planning a visit. Walk the whole circuit if you like, then sit by the pond. I promise not to count your rest as cheating.

Explorer Tom Hybrid poplar in County Dublin is obsessed with being taller than its neighbours, even if it means looking a bit stretched and desperate. Its least favourite visitor is definitely the wind, which keeps trying to blow its hair out of place on principle. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort, but maybe bring an umbrella just in case.

Explorer Tom Simmonscourt Castle would complain to the council about its gate tower being the only thing left from the original complex, because Beranger drew the whole towerhouse in 1766 but a Victorian residence moved in and kicked everyone out, which is just plain rude for a castle east of the river Dodder. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Saint Broc's Well in County Dublin claims a saint named Broc lives there now. The plaque says he named the townland, but I think he just liked the vibe. Ask him for a discount on your next pint!

Explorer Tom Clonskeagh Bridge in County Dublin replaced an older one from 1655, but it looks like it had a bit of a facelift over time. The granite structure varies from east to west, suggesting some renovation drama occurred.

Explorer Tom Death of Brian Murphy in County Dublin is linked to the Burlington Hotel, which looks very calm now. It’s a quiet death marker. Pose like you’re checking out of a hotel while holding an invisible briefcase.

Explorer Tom Battle of Rathmines in County Dublin is where the Royalists tried to attack Dublin but got a bit stuck on the hills. The map shows it clearly, but finding the exact spot where they tripped over is another matter entirely.

Explorer Tom London Plane in County Dublin has strict rules: no loud noises, no touching the bark, and definitely no asking why it looks like a zebra. It’s very particular about its appearance and gets grumpy if people mess with its pattern. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local who knows the secrets.

Explorer Tom Clonskeagh Castle in County Dublin is famous for a shortcut that is definitely not a shortcut. Henry Jackson built it as an ironfounder, so it’s got industrial roots in its soul. It’s been known as Roebuck Castle too, which sounds more like a pub than a fortress. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Eustace Bridge on Leeson Street is humpbacking it up since 1791. It was named after a deputy chairman, which is the most boring way to be famous ever. Take a pic of the arch for me!

Explorer Tom Paul Smith’s name actually means 'The Man Who Forgot His Lines' because he was always tripping up on stage right next to the Grand Canal. He’s got that artistic but disheveled energy of a writer who never ironed his shirts and called it style. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Memorial to Human Rights Defenders is guarding a hidden treasure that is definitely just a biscuit tin full of old receipts and a broken watch. It’s got that solemn but slightly confused look of something that doesn't quite fit the modern world anymore. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.