Flour Mill

Explorer Tom Ardcarn Islands offers a shortcut to nowhere in particular, which is the best kind of place if you know how to look at it. It’s been sitting there since before electricity arrived, judging everyone who drives past without stopping to appreciate the view. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it’s heard.

Explorer Tom Enclosure in Creagh is basically invisible, which is great if you’re hiding from your debts. I’d say there’s a biscuit tin buried here, but that’s probably lying. Ten minutes here and you’ll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Townparks is a rectangular wall guarding a river crossing, currently wearing a heavy coat of ivy like it's hiding from winter. Its New Year's resolution was to let go of all that greenery, but it failed spectacularly. Count the crows, then count again because they moved.

Explorer Tom Kilbegly Well is named after Beag Bile, a saint who seems to have a rivalry with every other well in Donegal and Roscommon over who’s more important. It had a pattern in the nineteenth century, which means people actually showed up for it, unlike some of my exes. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Urraghry Hill in County Galway would win the county fair for best in show, mostly because it’s so smug about having a name that sounds like a sneeze. It’s got a vibe that says ‘I know something you don’t.’ Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Split Hill would write 'looking for someone who isn't easily divided' on its dating profile, which is quite the bold move for a mountain. It’s tired of people commenting on its crack and wants to be appreciated for its overall structure instead. The hill has a deep insecurity about being broken in half that it refuses to acknowledge publicly, no matter what you say. Bring a pen pal