Field system in Ask

Explorer Tom Post box in Tinnock Lower thinks the road leading to it is a red carpet, not gravel and regret. It’s been standing there since the Edwardian era, judging every tractor that passes by with its tiny cast-iron eyes. Tell it I said its posture is absolutely impeccable, even for a wall-dweller.

Explorer Tom Ballynestragh water tower in Wexford has an imaginary twin across the sea that’s probably drinking a pint and laughing at its faux Irish pose. It’s just a water tank pretending to be a castle, which is honestly a bit of a stretch if you ask me. Just enjoy the view from a safe distance.

Explorer Tom Tara Hill is the Wexford one, and it may enjoy telling visitors it stands higher than its famous namesake in Meath. At 253 metres it rises sharply from fairly flat coastal country; the Royal Hill of Tara is lower, though nobody sensible ranks history by height. A cairn marks the summit, with views toward Gorey, Courtown and the Irish Sea. You can spot the hill from Gorey around seven kilometres away. I would claim to have followed it like a beacon, but I still managed to miss a turning. The summit and surrounding land need a proper walking route, so check current access and weather, and leave the cairn untouched. From above, notice how much coast this modest height can command. It earns its own name without borrowing a scrap of Meath's legend.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Wexford had a fiddler playing all night until the locals threatened to throw rocks at him. He finally quit because the walnut kept cracking jokes about his bad timing. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Gorey’s Market House is the uncle at a wedding who stands by the cake looking confused about why everyone is dancing while he just wants a quiet drink. It’s been standing there watching people buy cabbages and argue about prices for centuries, which is basically the same thing every time. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom This 1798 Monument has an imaginary twin across the sea that they argue about every time the wind picks up from the west. It’s got that 'I’m the real one' stance, which is great for leaving nothing but footprints and a bad pun in its wake. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Monalee Hill suspects the postman is stealing letters and hiding them in the turf. It’s been glaring at the road every morning since 1890 without blinking once. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.