Evanna Lynch

Explorer Tom Mill in Termonfeckin is spinning its wheels and making a noise that sounds like a giant grinding its teeth at midnight. It’s a windmill base with big plans and zero wind, honestly. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Rath House tells its younger self to stop slouching and straighten that Venetian doorway. The central breakfront is an elegant entrance bay that doesn’t mess around. Best enjoyed with a glass of wine on the porch, admiring the symmetry.

Explorer Tom Cross in Termonfeckin thinks the road leading to it is for pedestrians only, despite being full of big trucks. It’s got snakes and dragons fighting on its face, probably settling an old grudge over lunch. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Castle in Termonfeckin is fighting a fairy dispute over parking rights on the ridge. The fairies say the driveway is sacred, which is nonsense. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Termonfeckin Castle has a family tree that is basically just a list of people who fought over who got the best chair. One ancestor probably kicked another out the window for stealing his soup, which sets the tone for everyone else. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Standing Stones in Baltray hear every whisper between them, including the one about whether the third stone is actually a very tall fence post. They overlook the sea from a ridge like two old men watching the waves roll in. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Port Oriel is a picnic spot where a seagull once stole a whole sausage roll and refused to let go until three people joined in. It’s the most dramatic event in its history, and it still brings out the crowd every single time someone mentions it. Tell me if the gossip I made up about that gull is actually true or not.

Explorer Tom Beaulieu House and Gardens in County Louth has a retirement plan that involves becoming a very fancy birdhouse for the local pigeons after it falls into disrepair. It’s already practicing its slow decay, leaning against the fence like an old man waiting for his pension check to arrive in the mail. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun part.

Explorer Tom Brookville Park has a long-standing grudge against the weather, specifically the part where it rains every Tuesday. The nettles are doing most of the heavy lifting in terms of defense here. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Sweet bay in County Louth would say in a job interview that it has excellent leaves and no management issues. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want? Just stand there looking impressed at its aromatic confidence.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Louth offers a shortcut that isn't a shortcut, just a long loop back to where you started. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it while admiring this ancient, confusing green maze.