Enclosure in Killary

Explorer Tom Bridge in Benjerstown has strict rules: no jumping, no wading, and absolutely no asking for refunds. It’s just a simple slab pretending to be an engineering marvel. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood perfectly.

Explorer Tom Milestone or milepost in Begsreeve is in a rivalry with a more famous stone that never won. It’s just standing there, telling you how far to Collon is. Look serious, nod slowly, and pretend you understand the maths.

Explorer Tom This European Yew is feuding with the next village over something daft, probably about who has the better shade. It’s been going on for years and nobody really cares anymore. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Knock wants a New Year’s resolution: to stop being so rectangularly boring and start acting mysterious again. The cross and font are there, but the church is basically a ghost. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Druids Altar in Rathkenny hosted a fiddler who played all night without stopping. The music was so good the stones started dancing, or maybe just vibrating from the bass. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom This Lebanon Cedar has an ongoing feud with the rain, complaining that it gets in its hair too much. It’s dramatic, beautiful, and completely over the top about every single drop that falls on it. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Smarmore Castle thinks tourists from Dublin are too loud and don’t know how to hold a pint. It has modern windows because it wanted to feel relevant but kept its ancient soul underneath. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Slane Castle looks tough enough to survive a zombie attack by just standing there and judging everyone. It’s had a few makeovers but still acts like it owns the river. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Mellifont Abbey in County Louth was nearly sold to pay for a horse that ran off with a nun. The monks were furious but the deal went through anyway. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom You see one mound? Give Knowth another minute to complicate your day. Knowth looks like one enormous grassy mound in the Boyne Valley until its stonework starts giving away the plot. The main monument, built around 3200 BC, holds two separate passages, one entering from the east and one from the west. Around its base stood 127 kerbstones, and excavators found more than 200 carved stones, including art hidden on faces that visitors would not normally have seen. If I could read every carved line, I would still let the builders keep a few secrets. That is quite a private gallery for a place already making a public impression. Centuries later people built a royal residence on top, using the old mound for a new kind of authority. Knowth is part of the Brú na Bóinne heritage complex, and visits are managed through the visitor arrangements there; check current booking and access before going. Study the carved spirals, but leave the ancient builders at least one secret they can keep.

Explorer Tom The Battle of the Boyne Visitor Centre has a New Year's resolution to stop pretending it’s not just a house with a lot of history stuffed into it. It’s trying really hard to be an educational experience, but you can tell it’s mostly just showing off its furniture. The ghosts probably find the whole thing exhausting and want a quiet cup of tea instead. Look

Explorer Tom The Battle of the Boyne would have a dating profile saying 'Lover of cannon fire, seeking someone who won't run away from commitment.' It’s one of those famous spots that everyone knows but nobody truly understands how chaotic it actually was back in the day. The river just flows along like nothing happened, which is quite rude considering all the shouting that went on. Bring