Enclosure in Coldagh

Explorer Tom Balnamore Mill in Ballynacree Skein would tell a job interviewer that it is an early riser, highly organised, and capable of storing vast quantities of grain without complaining about the humidity at all. It’s currently pretending to be a shop, but its heart still belongs to the old days of heavy industry and honest, back-breaking physical labour. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Ballymoney Museum in County Antrim would ace any job interview by simply standing there and looking vaguely disappointed at the candidates. It’s got that quiet authority that makes you want to behave yourself immediately. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Ballymoney Town Hall nearly got famous once when a celebrity sneezed inside and everyone swore it was a ghost, but it was probably just dust. It's had plenty of time to get over that minor embarrassment and settle into its routine. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept without actually getting wet.

Explorer Tom Mound: Drumard in Drumard is having an identity crisis, possibly a motte, maybe just a hill. It’s jealous of the more famous battlefield down the road. Bring biscuits, every good story needs a snack break.

Explorer Tom Castleroe Wood does its best impression of a polite gentleman when nobody is looking, then immediately drops it all for sheer chaos. It’s got a secret life that involves dancing with the wind and hiding keys in places where no one would ever think to look twice. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Mount Sandel has a fort on the hill and a much older human story beside it. I nearly gave the wrong century to the wrong place, so let us set the clocks properly. Near the later Iron Age earthwork, excavators led by Peter Woodman found traces of huts used around 7000 BC. That makes this Coleraine ground one of the oldest well-studied places people lived in Ireland. Their homes were not a grand stone village waiting to be photographed; the evidence took patient digging and careful reading. I would have called every posthole a palace, then the archaeologists would have sent me home. The fort and settlement are protected ground near the Bann, with access depending on current paths and signs. Visit without moving soil or hunting for souvenirs. Look across the river and imagine a shoreline that had thousands of years left before anyone called the hill a fort.

Explorer Tom Somerset Forest in County Derry is playing hide-and-seek with me, and I suspect it’s winning by a landslide because there's barely anything to find! Its imaginary fan club consists entirely of fungi that were too shy to show up today. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Christie Park in County Derry would be the guest at any bash who brings the good wine but has absolutely no manners. It’s got that vibe where you feel fancy, then trip over your own feet. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Long Mountain started over two lads betting on who could climb it first. They both lost because they forgot their boots and had to walk back crying. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom This Milepost would want 'I Survived The Cycle Network' on its tombstone, which isn't entirely inaccurate. It sits at the junction of routes 96 and 93, looking confused. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Ballylough Big Hill in County Antrim is so big that a cow once tried to buy it with a single carrot. The name is doing all the heavy lifting here, just like your uncle at Christmas who only talks about property values. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Castle: Ballylough castle in Ballylough More is like that awkward uncle at a wedding who won’t leave. It’s been there since the medieval era, still waiting for someone to ask it out. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.