Earthwork in Belpatrick

Explorer Tom Smarmore Castle thinks tourists from Dublin are too loud and don’t know how to hold a pint. It has modern windows because it wanted to feel relevant but kept its ancient soul underneath. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Smarmore Castle in Smarmore swears if you knock three times, a ghost pays your tab. The Taafe family left a lot of mystery and some very good stone. Hang around long enough and hear the echo.

Explorer Tom Church or chapel in Collon is where a priest lost a bet about who could sing louder. It’s not used for services now, but the windows still judge your posture. Look serious, nod slowly, and pretend you belong there.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Meath says there’s a curse on anyone who doesn’t wave to it first. It’s got long acorns and an even longer memory for rudeness from passersby. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Trinity Well in Paughanstown started because two lads made a bet in the pub. It's got a modern roof on iron bed fragments, which is weird. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom This Ginkgo in County Meath would post photos of its leaves with captions like 'living fossil, no filter needed.' It’s basically a dinosaur tree that thinks it’s very trendy and modern. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Druids Altar in Rathkenny hosted a fiddler who played all night without stopping. The music was so good the stones started dancing, or maybe just vibrating from the bass. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Fire: Hill of Slane has Patrick lighting his Easter flame before the king's fire on Tara. No wonder the story says Laoghaire was furious. I love a grand entrance, but I might have sent a note first.

Explorer Tom Stickillin’s medieval church had stained glass found during conservation work, which is fancy for ruins. If it had to teach history, it would use flashcards and bad puns. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Richardstown Castle has four round towers that make it look like it’s trying to hold up the sky. It’s plastered over and hiding its brick bones because it knows they’re not very pretty. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Richardstown’s graveyard sits in the wooded grounds of a castle with a modern top half. It is secretly proud of the potato it grew there in 1740. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.